[about2marry]

i'm about to get married in less than a month. i love my fiance very much, but i recently started feeling like i want to just stay single and have many short relationships. i want to marry him but i don't want to. i love him, but i want to have lots of meaningless relationships before i commit to him. but i also worry that i will lose him forever. what should i do?

[Mes T]

How old are you? One of the (many) reasons I broke up with a long-term boyfriend of mine was because I felt like I hadn't experienced enough out of life to just settle down with him, including seeing what other kinds of people might be out there. I just felt too young to fall into a "routine" that being with the same person presented.

Have you thought about the reasons WHY you want these meaningless relationships? Is it to experience other people, to feel free, or what?

[about2marry]

i'm 23. we've been together for 4 and a half years. i love him very much, but i feel like i want to have other guys like me. i went to a few bars to hang out and see if any guys would try to come on to me. some did and my friends told them i was engaged. my fiance wasn't worried about this, he even gave me permission. i don't want to leave him since our wedding is right around the corner. we've been engaged for 3 years. but i just feel like i want to have someone else before him. he's had other women before he met me. he tells me that he regrets them all and that i'll regret what i would do too. we're both religious and we are even waiting for marriage. i mean we've explored some but not gone all the way yet. am i just selfish or am i a ? i feel so bad for thinking about what i want to do.

[rcoreyus]

Hmm, tough one. If you and your fiance have a good relationship (in and out of bed), then you aren't missing anything by not being with other men - but you don't know that.

I'm sure other people will disagree, but maybe you should have a one-time fling to get it out of your system?

[Guest]

it is not unusual to have second thoughts just before getting married. especially if you are younger and not had a lot of experiences. whether having a last fling or not will help or not is a different answer for everyone. you already know other guys like you just from the ones that hit on you when you went out. is that enough? I am sure there are plenty of guys who would offer to be your last fling, but is that what you really want?

[LanaBear]

I think it's common that these thoughts are going through your head. You're young and inexperienced. However, if things are great between the two of you and you love him with all your heart, ask yourself if you are willing to sacrifice that for your curiosity...

You may have these thoughts for a while, the big What Ifs. But, instead of thinking you are missing out on something, why not go in another direction. Think that you are giving and receiving a very precious gift. You are giving him something that nobody has ever had and he is giving you something that nobody has ever received.

Just a thought.

[the wench]

i'm about to get married in less than a month. i love my fiance very much, but i recently started feeling like i want to just stay single and have many short relationships. i want to marry him but i don't want to. i love him, but i want to have lots of meaningless relationships before i commit to him. but i also worry that i will lose him forever. what should i do?

why throw away something with someone you love and agreed to marry for meaningless sex and a few flings?
being in a meaningful relationship is what makes 2 people complete...i would think very carefully if its worth the chance of losing him to cheat for a bit of fun.
i cant even think of cheating on my boyfriend as i love him far to much... we arent engaged or living together and there doesnt seem to be any sign of these things happening at the minute never mind if we were due to be married in a months time......maybe all your experiencing is nerves but you need to work out if this is the actual problem or if you maybe just dont love him in that way anymore or enough to commit to him and only him....

[happy ending]

it just sounds like a case of cold feet to me, that panic that occurs when you realise your life is going to change in a major way. i remember it hit me very bad when i was about 8 months pregnant, i rang my friend crying, couldnt sleep, it was horrible. your finance sounds lovely, and as for going out to clubs to see if guys would hit on you, a bit of reassurance is always nice. good luck with your life together.

[nubianqueen]

You're probably asking yourself these questions because you are young and if im not mistaken, he's more than likely ur first serious relationship. It's totally normal to ask urself those questions... Just keep in mind that while there are some good guys out there, there are SO MANY bad ones too!!! Ask yourself, if you have a beautiful thing with ur fiance, and you all make each other happy, why risk losing him forever just because you wonder whether or not the grass is greener on the other side?? Sometimes, that is not always the case!!!