[sourpuss]

Not sure what forum this should go in.
I have an odd situation. A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I decided that we wanted to learn how to cross-country ski. So we went out and shopped around for gear. Well, apparently there are two kinds, classic and skate-ski style. Well, we decided that we were more interested in learning skate-skiing.....until we also learned that the whole gear set-up was almost $400!!
So we bagged the idea for a week and then the following weekend we talked about it some more and scoured the 2nd hand sports stores and found boots and possibly a pair of skis for him. (they are body-weight specific sooo)

Anyway, I kept asking him what he needed for christmas and he kept saying not to spend money, that we should save money we'd spend on gifts and take a fun weekend trip instead. I prefer that idea as well. So I just got him some long-johns and a couple of shirts at Ross. Just little things he needed but wouldn't buy for himself.

So Friday evening he was having a terrible day and we weren't getting along. ....so Saturday morning he came over and asked me to go get a cup of coffee and go christmas shopping for my folks and I get in the truck and he went out and got the whole skate-ski set-up! WTH? I thought we weren't spending money?!

So here it is 3 days before Christmas and I have no idea what to do. He said if I was uncomfortable with it I could take it back. But I feel like if I take it back then I'm the ingrate, and if I keep it (even though I think it's over the top) then I'm greedy.

He kept saying "We talked about getting this stuff for weeks" and "My boss surprised me with a huge christmas bonus so I could afford it"

I don't know what to do. I'd like to stick to our agreement and just plan a little getaway or something but now it's all awkward.

[the wench]

its also a lovely thought but an expensive 1!
id just accept it and he will understand the reason you havent spent as much..3 days 2 go doesnt leave u much time...however the sales will be on soon lol.
me and my partner had an agreed amount 2 spend but i couldnt help but get a suprise 4 him as we no the things we are giving each other.
its not over board just an extra £30 2 what we agreed but i no he will like it and its money better spent...i would only have had a day/night on the drink instead so would rather spend the extra i had on him cos he deserves it and i love him...awwww me lol.

[KMonte85]

accept the gift. He bought it for you because he wanted to, because he knew you would love it. He explained he got a nice, good sized, unexpected bonus to pay for it. And he would never think of you as greedy for accepting it, otherwise he would have never purchased it for you in the first place! If anything, I think he may be more hurt if you take it back... You can razz him a bit for going over the agreed spending limits, but also let him know how much you love the gift can't wait to use it with him!

Give him the small gifts you purchased for him and do something else nice that he may enjoy as an extra thank you. Make his favorite meal, give him a massage, and then ravage him in the bedroom that night. It's an inexpensive and still very meaningful way of saying thanks for the sweet gesture!

[Guest]

So nice to hear stories like this.

Do what you think. You know this man's mentality and financial situation more than anyone here.

Good luck.

[pretzel]

accept the gift. He bought it for you because he wanted to, because he knew you would love it. He explained he got a nice, good sized, unexpected bonus to pay for it. And he would never think of you as greedy for accepting it, otherwise he would have never purchased it for you in the first place! If anything, I think he may be more hurt if you take it back... You can razz him a bit for going over the agreed spending limits, but also let him know how much you love the gift can't wait to use it with him!

Give him the small gifts you purchased for him and do something else nice that he may enjoy as an extra thank you. Make his favorite meal, give him a massage, and then ravage him in the bedroom that night. It's an inexpensive and still very meaningful way of saying thanks for the sweet gesture!

That's what I would do.

Sometimes it's not about the money.

[Ahryin]

I'm sorry....why is it akward? He got the bonus not you, and you two had an agreement so thats what you planned for. He didn't come to you and say "hun I got this bonus lets do xyz" Accept the gift because at the end of the day thats your dude and he can get whatever he wants to get for you. You must not be used to being spoiled...feels awkward the first time but after this it will be alllllll gravy baby

[sourpuss]

That's what I would do.

Sometimes it's not about the money.

I know. It's just the he really can't afford to spend that kind of money on me and I know that, so it's hard to accept. But I will let it go and be grateful.

[pretzel]

I know. It's just the he really can't afford to spend that kind of money on me and I know that, so it's hard to accept. But I will let it go and be grateful.

Letting it go I think is a good idea.

Also, don't let this become a bone of contention either.

Sounds like even if he didn't have the money he thinks that much of you to do somethng he may not normally do. Sounds like someone who cares.

What if instead of it being skis it was a diamond ring or necklace, would the conversation be different?

[sourpuss]

Letting it go I think is a good idea.

Also, don't let this become a bone of contention either.

Sounds like even if he didn't have the money he thinks that much of you to do somethng he may not normally do. Sounds like someone who cares.

What if instead of it being skis it was a diamond ring or necklace, would the conversation be different?

Yeah! I would have wondered who the heck stole my boyfriend and spent a bunch of money on something the two of us think is silly. Then I would have punched him.

I know what you mean though. I think the thing isn't that he got it, it's that he made a big deal out of not spending money on one another and then went out and spent a bunch of money. And to top it off he did it when we weren't getting along all that great. So it kinda of seems like he did it so I wouldn't be mad at him or something. I don't know.

[pretzel]

Yeah! I would have wondered who the heck stole my boyfriend and spent a bunch of money on something the two of us think is silly. Then I would have punched him.

I know what you mean though. I think the thing isn't that he got it, it's that he made a big deal out of not spending money on one another and then went out and spent a bunch of money. And to top it off he did it when we weren't getting along all that great. So it kinda of seems like he did it so I wouldn't be mad at him or something. I don't know.

Are you still mad at him?