[louise_40]

In June last year I found out that my hubby was seeing another woman. What i thought he had ended. Not sure if swearing on your own mother's life counts as being heartless? said he met her on a dating site...but what a load of rubbish. I found an email in Septemeber in his drafts (oh dear it didn't send) I actually found out he met her at the gym, he goes to. I rang him and told him what i had found out and he came home and started shouting. He did text her that he had to sort his marrige out..What a joke! We had booked a weekend away as we never had the chance to before..Had a lovely time..Got back, went to the coast..I was taking a photo with his new phone and tapped on a button and her number popped up again..I just walked away, before i killed him! I gave in again and believed it was over but guess what this week i found an email she had sent to him.. I actually went round to the womans house and told her to stay away etc etc..I confronted him when he got home and he said he will stay away from the gym for a while because he wants to be with me, but he wont actually tell the other woman that he doesnt want her...I cant even put it down to the sex side things. I would say we have great sex life. He just keeps saying that i have to trust him and believe him...Is it worth saving or should i call it a day and walk away??

[CHANDLERS WISH]

and he said he will stay away from the gym for a while because he wants to be with me, but he wont actually tell the other woman that he doesnt want her...

Well purely from this paragraph, I would be saying he wants to keep all his eggs in one basket "just in case", in which case, whom does he really love? Himself?

You can't have your cake and eat it to...

He either ends it full stop... and takes his chances because he "really does want to be with you". Or he goes to her and leaves you alone.

Just be strong and let him know that's your decision. He made his, now make yours.

CW

[sourpuss]

Just remember before you give an ultimatum that you have to be 100% ready to back it up. If you threaten and then give in, your credibility and backbone are compromised forever.

[louise_40]

Just remember before you give an ultimatum that you have to be 100% ready to back it up. If you threaten and then give in, your credibility and backbone are compromised forever.

All i have is said no more chances. Decide if you want to be here with your wife and kids or go to her. I told him he cannot keep playing with my emotions.. I cannot honestly see what the womans got..Obviously something i havent..Certainly not the looks...been told its desire...i think its more like a mid life crisis..!!!!

[sourpuss]

So will you walk out on him if you find another email or her number on his phone?

[louise_40]

So will you walk out on him if you find another email or her number on his phone?

Yes i will have to. Not that it should be me who leaves. Im not the one whos done the dirty. I need to be happy and content. What makes it harder is that we have been together since i was 15. We have grown up together...Cant even begin to think how i would cope on my own...scary..!

[sourpuss]

You'll cope just fine, happier actually. At this point, he's banking on the fact that you've forgiven and trusted him in the past. He didn't stop. So you need to think of leaving (if you do) as moving forward with your life, not about not being able to do it. You'll actually be doing something to make your life better, and that's a good thing, as hard as it will be in the beginning.

[KMonte85]

I confronted him when he got home and he said he will stay away from the gym for a while because he wants to be with me, but he wont actually tell the other woman that he doesnt want her...

He just keeps saying that i have to trust him and believe him...Is it worth saving or should i call it a day and walk away??

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! He'll stay away from the gym where he met this woman in the first place for a while?! He won't tell her that he doesn't want her?!

This is what looks to be the 3rd time he's been caught still having contact with this woman. How much more are you going to trust and believe him? What in the world would make him think that any more of this will be the last straw from you?

[louise_40]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! He'll stay away from the gym where he met this woman in the first place for a while?! He won't tell her that he doesn't want her?!

This is what looks to be the 3rd time he's been caught still having contact with this woman. How much more are you going to trust and believe him? What in the world would make him think that any more of this will be the last straw from you?

I actually didnt know at first that is where he met her until September..He says what can he do when he goes to the gym because he always texts me when hes there...he cant get it though to his head that there shouldnt of been any contact what so ever with her..Maybe when the old heads thinking a bit clearer i can make the right move.

[sourpuss]

I actually didnt know at first that is where he met her until September..He says what can he do when he goes to the gym because he always texts me when hes there...he cant get it though to his head that there shouldnt of been any contact what so ever with her..Maybe when the old heads thinking a bit clearer i can make the right move.

If he doesn't see anything wrong with it, then he's never going to change. Whether or not you can stay and live with him seeing someone else is a choice you have to make because he's already made his choice.