[SecretlySad]

Yep, me again. lol

I am just wondering whether the issues I have in our relationship are age related or not?? For anyone who doesn't know I am 27 and he is 44.

- He gets upset about things that I can't understand are even an issue.

- When we fight he stops speaking to me, completely shuts down. I know a lot of guys do this but because of our age difference I feel like a child being punished. Even when I apologise or tell him I want to talk about it he continues to ignore me.

- He constantly thinks I am attacking him or there is nastiness in my comments. He always doubts me but if I even show a hint of doubt towards him he becomes insulted.

- If we get into a screaming match it seems like he can say whatever he wants, but if I say similar things directed at him he goes off his brain and tells me I am being disrespectful.

- When we are out, if he has upset me and he thinks what I am upset about is silly, he won't try and fix the situation but instead tell me if I am going to be "cranky", he is going home - almost threatening me like a parent would.

Am I crazy here? Am I the bad guy, am I completely being manipulated or is this all age related?

[sourpuss]

I don't think it's age-related but personality related. My ex was a lot like that and it was because that's how his parents treated him growing up. He was six years older than me and I think they played a bit into the whole 'I know better because I'm older' thing. And that may be part of it in your situation as well.

Regardless, he's being defensive, selfish and immature.

[Mes T]

I agree, age probably has little to do with it.

On a side note, was it you who made the thread about feeling like you're kind of smothered/not free to grow into yourself, etc, because you're with a guy who has had plenty of years to experience life before settling into a relationship with you? What happened to that track of thought?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I also agree. I don't believe it's age related, if anything an "older" person has more experience in relationships and has learnt to understand how the opposite sex thinks.

But if they are heck bent on always dismissing that and ignoring it, it's their nature and you can't really change that.

Too me it sounds like "control" and my ex was like this, very much so... 7 and a half years later, he hadn't changed one bit... Not that I expected him to, but hopeful..

He needs to "respect you" and compromise instead of it always being his way or the highway...

CW

[Guest]

it's him, it's partly the age thing treating you like a kid, and he is being manipulative - albeit probably doesnt even realize he's doing it.

[SecretlySad]

Thanks for your replies, everyone.

Yes Mes that was me. I don't know what happened to that train of thought... my feelings seem to change day by day and it's driving me insane. Every time I feel like I know what I want, something changes.

Thanks again for your replies. I thought I was going crazy getting upset about those things because he never seemed to take them seriously... but I guess that is just him.