[Ahryin]

2 years is a long time. it's really upto you, what do YOU think you should do. it could be that if u leave he might realize he cares for you more than he thinks or it could be a gamble. if things are "going good" now do you really wanna mess things up? my fear is that you stick by him and you choose to take it a day at a time and he turns around oneday and says it aint working. i believe that everyone knows the answer to their problem deep inside, it's just hard for them to admit it and accept it. whats your gut telling you?

hope i wasn't too hard, i just really feel for you.

Thats the thing...my gut tells me he loves me. Which may be why this is so hard to swallow and such a hard decision to make. I know I don't want him out of my life but what i'm deciding is when will it be time enough for him to heal from his past. When will enough be enough...I'm ALL woman, there is no vail here. My representative is MYSELF (many say when you first meet a person you meet their rep not their true self)

[Ahryin]

In his defense, I don't think that at a year and half, taking it day by day is unreasonable. Especially for someone with a lot of fear associated with relationships. If I were you, I'd allow myself to enjoy what I have at the moment and see if it grows in to something more. Show him and tell him you love him, without expecting anything in return. I think you'll know the answer by the summertime if you do that.

I do this, and I do NOT expect anything in return, I have explained to him that I say it because I love him and I show him that. I do not expect anything in return but it has been my experience to tell and show before its to late, tomorrow is NOT promised

[Texinator]

Forget for a moment that he does not love you.. are you happy with how things are right now or do you feel like your settling for him?

[Ahryin]

I would like to say though, that unless he word for word told you that he doesn't love you, then I would say that he prolly does. Even if he won't attach the word "love" to it, I don't see how he couldn't based on what you've said of your relationship, that word my carry a lot of pain for him and he doesn't want to associate that pain with his feelings of you.

He has not told me word for word that he does not love me. I have considered that maybe he does and just can't bring himself to say it. Especially since he shows me a lot in ways that I would consider a show of love. does things that you would only do (or that I would only do) for people you love. He has at times said "thats something I love about you...."

[Ahryin]

Forget for a moment that he does not love you.. are you happy with how things are right now or do you feel like your settling for him?

I am happy with him, at the end of the day when no one else is around and its just myself (because we don't live together) when the dust settles..i'm happy he is in my life and prayerful that I can open my eyes to another day with my children and HIM in it

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I have reached a level of understanding when it comes to respect for each other. I'm happy that he is aware of his emotional state because that means he has put some thought into it. However I am a planner.

I agree, if it's truth that he speaks than we always know where we stand.

There underlies the problem... You like to see where you going all the time, with everything in life and he likes to live life for today and let it take what ever course that it is meant to take.

What things does he whisper to you?

Didn't you catch him with other women before or texts or something?

[Texinator]

I am happy with him, at the end of the day when no one else is around and its just myself (because we don't live together) when the dust settles..i'm happy he is in my life and prayerful that I can open my eyes to another day with my children and HIM in it

Then in my opinion you should stick with him.

You are happy with him and you are glad to have him in your life. Even if he were to leave in a month or in a year, you can say you enjoyed your time with him. But that is no guarantee that he'll leave, in a month, in a year, or ever.

The only way this will end guaranteed is if you break it off now. You might find someone instead who'll pledge their undying love to you.. but that guarantees neither that you will be as happy with him as with your current SO or that he won't eventually leave either.

[Ahryin]

It was 3 text messages...yes indeed! Took some time to come back from that one but when he stepped back into my life he stepped up to the plate BIG time. Which is also why this is a shock...I thought that the time we spent away from each other had softened his heart, allowed him to miss me and realize who and what I am to him and the presence I bring into his life. Well now I feel like ok maybe that was a big step for him and I have to wait even longer for a bigger one...does that make sense?

[Ahryin]

When he tells me he is not seeing anyone I believe him...oh and CW I met the mom

[sourpuss]

Then in my opinion you should stick with him.

You are happy with him and you are glad to have him in your life. Even if he were to leave in a month or in a year, you can say you enjoyed your time with him. But that is no guarantee that he'll leave, in a month, in a year, or ever.

The only way this will end guaranteed is if you break it off now. You might find someone instead who'll pledge their undying love to you.. but that guarantees neither that you will be as happy with him as with your current SO or that he won't eventually leave either.

Exactly!