[SecretlySad]

There is a great article I read on the whole thing, let me know if anyone wants it pm-ed to them.

[newhere808]

I felt the same way, until I really read up on it. When my boyfriend does it to me it is like torture, I can't stand it. Maybe it is just me and the way I handle things (not well lol), but it feels like it is more than him just taking his "cooling off time", it literally makes me feel sick to my stomach when he shuts me out.

It may be wise to give him that time if he is truely cooling off, though it shouldn't carry on too long. It can be very difficult to deal with the reactions of the opposite sex, and the many complexities tied up in what they could mean.

Kind of like a lady saying "nothings wrong" or "that's fine", two potentially loaded phrases that blow up in a guys face more often than not

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Whenever it happens to me personally, I feel like a child being controlled, "punished" even

Point taken sperosi.. IDK, yes you can say that this is the way a person handles things, retreat. Most definately...

But, this person does other things as "control", in answering her other posts, which dis-enables her to be herself, rather, living in his life only, not "their lives" and I see that as control and a form of abuse therefore, for his own gain, sure it can be love, a fear of losing her, a fear of her leaving and therefore, taking away things that puts her in his sphere and only his so she has very little in-dependence.

No one SecretlySad, should walk on egg shells and feel that they are losing sense of who they are, because he has everything his way and makes you feel, the way your expressing here.

CW

[SecretlySad]

No one SecretlySad, should walk on egg shells and feel that they are losing sense of who they are, because he has everything his way and makes you feel, the way your expressing here.

Oh boy... that's really how I feel sometimes. Yesterday I was soooooooooo sad and I had no idea why, I was just so unhappy, lost, confused. I hate feeling that way.

The thing that drives me the most crazy is when he has had his cooling off time, newhere, he comes out to me and he is STILL angry and silent. He stares straight ahead at the tv with this filthy look on his face and pretends I am not even there. I really don't know what to do. If I say "can we talk about this?" he will roll his eyes or tell me he's not in the mood. I have truly lost hope. I don't know how much more I can take. When things are good between us they are incredible, but he has this Jekyll and Hyde thing going on... and I always feel like it is my fault.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Your question was " boys being boys, or emotional abuse".

I"m sticking to my original answer, abuse.

You say that he stares ahead, ignores you, puts this look on his face that "scares you, shuts you down, puts you in a corner, walking on egg shells, he pretends your not there, he rolls his eyes and states, I'm not in the mood"... Control, emotional abuse, wear you down, make you feel a lesser person, he can then keep you.

Sorry, that's my view...

Someone who "can't open up or speak" will shift their eyes and be embarrassed, not know what to say, have trouble communicating....

He's communicating, with his actions, with his eyes, with his words is he not?

Don't walk on egg shells...

I think it's time you "told" him you "need" a motor vehicle, and that's "your choice" and that your "allowed" to make choices as well...

CW

[SecretlySad]

The car? Honestly I don't care about that anymore. Really. Besides recently he has said if I want to go out and buy myself a car to go ahead. He has even seen ones he thinks I might like.

I just don't understand how people can give the silent treatment. I think it's a torturous, awful thing to do. I would never do it to him.

Did you experience it too, CW??