[newhere808]

Perhaps she wanted to escape him, perhaps he emotionally abuses her, perhaps he withholds sex, who can know?

Perhaps he treated her like a queen and she betrayed him, hence the explosive reaction?

I certainly don't condone violence regardless of the setting, but if a person has an explosive temper, or worse yet, doesn't really ever get mad, and then get's betrayed by the one person that matters to them most, I think thrashing your furniture is a better call then taking it right out on her. Since there is no way to know whether he did or did not I wouldn't wave that flag right off the bat.

That being said, I would have called the cops, because you never know where these things can go, and whether he hit her or not, your right, it is domestic violence.

Though just to add a bit of perspective, i've known women that have destroyed a mans entertainment center, collection of business suits, gym equipment, and professional reputations because of cheating, worse i've seen police stand and watch as a woman close-fist punched her husband multiple times. Explosive overreactions are not exclusive to men.

[Hopeless Dork]

I think your reaction was normal, stressed. Its so hard for one to know when to react and when to mind your own business.

Whenever abuse of any kind is suspected ... I've kind of come to the theory that its better to be wrong and do something than to be right and do nothing.

It sounds like you knew he left the apt, so was no longer an immediate threat, and that you heard her crying, showing she was conscious and capable of calling out for help if she wished it.

I wouldn't feel bad about it, but would develop a theory of your own on how you will want to react in any future situations so that you act with your conscience, be it to let them work it out, or to call the police. That way you know how you will handle the situation if it arises again, with them or others and not have to work out what you should do in the heat of the moment.. but already know in advance and not have to think about it.

[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)