[kygirl]

So the new beau and I have been together for a month now... Things are really great. I spend about 3-4 nights a week at his place (since he lives alone and I have a roommate), and we have regular study and dinner dates. He always is very nice and thanks for me for coming over and/or staying the night. He seems genuinely happy to have me there. Asks about meeting other friends, talks about us doing things, makes an effort to extend dates as long as possible.

So the thing is... we both obviously work and go to school. We both are very busy and it is tax season for him and I have been very busy at work lately as well. We go to bed around 11:00-12:00 and he doesn't have to get up till 7:30 or 8:00. To me, that is plenty of sleep. I am used to more like 1:00-7:00 and have been for quite some time because I have so much I like to get done during the day...

He mentioned last night that we need to start going to sleep earlier. I don't want him to be tired all the time and feel like it's my fault, but in all honesty, usually we end up having sex and just cuddling and talking for a bit after and before I know it, it's been an hour. Should I mention it or just let it go? Obviously, we are still very early in the honeymoon phase and he thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread, but since we've progressed so quickly, I also don't want him to get tired of having me over.... I also want to make sure that he is getting all of his school work done since I am a faster reader than he is, so it doesn't seem to take me as long to accomplish what I need to.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

[pretzel]

I take it from the post that he's working for a CPA firm. If he's about the same age (mid 20's) then he's probably a grunt answering to a senior staff accountant. Or possibly is a senior answering to a partner.

Reality, you think it's bad now, wait til March/April. You won't see him and when you do he'll be so strung out you won't know him. Both or you are also in school, add that to the mix.

My suggestion, compromise a little. Go to bed a little earlier and spend some good quality time together a little more, extend those hours on the weekend.

[Futureboy]

sounds like he likes a little more sleep that ave and you like a little less.

Being tired makes people very irritable and a little selfish.

If he needs the sleep you will have to let him have it. Problem is I read somewhere if you go to bed together at the saem toime you are more likely to stay together. I assume this is to do partly with sex and partly with bonding.

Try and find a middle time you can both accept or go to bed early half the week and stay up the other half

Hope it works out sounds like a little bump on an otherwise perfect road

Fb

[kygirl]

I take it from the post that he's working for a CPA firm. If he's about the same age (mid 20's) then he's probably a grunt answering to a senior staff accountant. Or possibly is a senior answering to a partner.

Reality, you think it's bad now, wait til March/April. You won't see him and when you do he'll be so strung out you won't know him. Both or you are also in school, add that to the mix.

My suggestion, compromise a little. Go to bed a little earlier and spend some good quality time together a little more, extend those hours on the weekend.

Pretzel,

He's actually a manager (he's in his early 30s and I'm in my late 20s) so it's not grunt work, but he does a LOT of returns, so yes, I am sure by March/April he'll be strung out. He's already apologized in advance for if he ever gets short with me the next couple of months. I know he's going to need a little bit of "breathing room" to get through the next 75 days or so...

That being said, I am prepared to spend more time focusing on me and getting things done during that time that I need to. I just don't know how to address the sleep issue. I mean, he invites me over. I try to go to sleep, but well it's kind of a catch-22. Obviously, I want to have sex with him. One night this week, I said no, we really need to sleep because it was already so late.

I don't want to make him feel like I'm deciding for him, BUT at the same time, I don't want to feel like whether he means to or not, that he might blame me for his exhaustion?

Along that same line... I have also been considering trying to help him out some during tax season... I thought about maybe making a meal for him or a little "care package" with deli meat, cheese, bread and some fruit and snacks so he could have one less thing to worry about... But not sure if that might be a bit "much"?

[kygirl]

If he needs the sleep you will have to let him have it. Problem is I read somewhere if you go to bed together at the saem toime you are more likely to stay together. I assume this is to do partly with sex and partly with bonding.

Try and find a middle time you can both accept or go to bed early half the week and stay up the other half


Fb

FB, thanks for the advice.

I don't mind going to bed earlier. I just have gotten used to not because I just trained myself not to. I have days where I am ready for bed by 9:00 myself. I don't really try to get him to stay up, it just kind of seems to happen. That's why I kind of don't know how to address. But when we both don't get done with school until like 8:30 or 9:00 I'm just not sure how early is feasible in order to get things accomplished.

[Guest]

yes you are worrying too much. if he wants to have sex, and you want to have sex, then have sex. if it's late and he's a bit tired the next day...

oh well!

the care package idea is great!

[pretzel]

KY,

My own personal advice.

Let it go. He obviously wants you to be in his life.

Accept that, be glad for it, adjust to the changes both of you will be making.

If these are your biggest concerns, you two will be pretty good together.

[kygirl]

Thanks sperosi, I know you're right...should quit thinking so much...

Thanks Pretzel... I am just trying to adjust to being with someone who really wants to be with me... Sometimes I forget that things are different when the person actually wants to be with you.

[pretzel]

Ky, go back and read your first paragraph (first paragraph only) on the OP.

Answers your own question.

[kygirl]

Ky, go back and read your first paragraph (first paragraph only) on the OP.

Answers your own question.

You're absolutely right pretzel... He does seem genuinely happy to have me over. He is the one that suggests I stay almost everytime but one that I can think of. I don't guess he'd keep doing that if he didn't want me there.

It's just a bit of paranoia I think. I haven't dated anyone who seemed genuinely entirely into me in a while.. And even if they did, it fizzled pretty quickly.

I just want to make sure things are good