[jj44]

no, my parents aren't against me shaving my legs, he walked into my bathroom when i was doing that, and told me that i smell like smoke and then took my razor, pinned me down and cut me, seventeen times.

my dad has never met my boyfriend,or even talked to him. i know that im young, but i do love him with all of my heart, he was the first guy i chose to have sex with and i trust him with my life. he lives about 45 minutes away from me, and i only get to see him every couple of weeks so my parent's cant use that as an excuse to keep me away from him. if i call the cops or get my dad in trouble, he won't pay for my university, and ive been dreaming to go to this one university for a long time. i'm stuck

[WildChild]

Sweetie, I grew up abused and understand some of what you are going through. The police should have been called for that cutting incident. How do you know he'll pay for your college anyway? He could easily cut that off any time, now or after you are there. Bust your fanny to keep your grades up and qualify for scholarships. If your mom vanishes into the wallpaper when he is abusing you, you need to have some other adults to turn to. Do you have a teacher you feel connected to? A freind's parents? You need someplace for a refuge if it becomes necessary.

I don't know if this would work in your case but at 16 1/2 I finally stood up and said, "No, you can't do this anymore, to me or my siblings."I said I would leave and take them with me if I had to. And it stopped. It was weird. Less than a year before I had been beaten unconscious. And it stopped. Oddly enough, after that no one really paid much attention to what I did, how late I stayed out, whatever. I was already working and buy of my own clothing and personal supplies, after that my parents didn't buy me anything. I still had to sleep on the floor because my bed had been taken away when I was 14. But life got a lot easier.

I don't know if this would work in your situation. In my case there were never any visible marks, your situation may be a bit more over the top. Do have a back up plan. Know that this isn't how it's supposed to be. I broke the cycle for my kids. It hasn't been easy and I've fallen into some bad relationships more than once. But you canrise above this.

[jj44]

Sweetie, I grew up abused and understand some of what you are going through. The police should have been called for that cutting incident. How do you know he'll pay for your college anyway? He could easily cut that off any time, now or after you are there. Bust your fanny to keep your grades up and qualify for scholarships. If your mom vanishes into the wallpaper when he is abusing you, you need to have some other adults to turn to. Do you have a teacher you feel connected to? A freind's parents? You need someplace for a refuge if it becomes necessary.

I don't know if this would work in your case but at 16 1/2 I finally stood up and said, "No, you can't do this anymore, to me or my siblings."I said I would leave and take them with me if I had to. And it stopped. It was weird. Less than a year before I had been beaten unconscious. And it stopped. Oddly enough, after that no one really paid much attention to what I did, how late I stayed out, whatever. I was already working and buy of my own clothing and personal supplies, after that my parents didn't buy me anything. I still had to sleep on the floor because my bed had been taken away when I was 14. But life got a lot easier.

I don't know if this would work in your situation. In my case there were never any visible marks, your situation may be a bit more over the top. Do have a back up plan. Know that this isn't how it's supposed to be. I broke the cycle for my kids. It hasn't been easy and I've fallen into some bad relationships more than once. But you canrise above this.

i do know that he will pay my tuition, because my brother and sister both had him pay theirs. my parents are separated, so my mom hears about it but never does anything. i agree that i need another adult, which is why i went to my boyfriend's house last weekend. i needed to get away, and his parents helped a lot with that. but i had to come home sometime, and he hurt me really bad when i came back. now im grounded for a very long time so my resources for help are limited to my school.

[WildChild]

Why aren't you with your mother?

[jj44]

i used to live with both part time, they live in the same city but after i ran away to my boyfriend's for three days, she wants nothing to do with me and kicked me out

[WildChild]

How long ago? Is this just the past weekend?

[jj44]

yeah i was there the fourth til the seventh, and ive been at my dads since. i always wanted to live at only one house, ive been shuttled back and forth since i was seven but it was never an option, going to my dads was unavoidable and now even worse

[WildChild]

You are a minor and if the abuse is reported, the courts may order your mother to take you. Would that be workable do you think?
Was your father this way with your older siblings?

[jj44]

in canada, the legal age of consent is sixteen as well as you can leave home without permission, and your parents can kick you out so the court can't send me to my mother if she won't have me. my dad was never like this with my brother, hes 24 and they're best friends. there were a couple of incidents with my sister, but i was never around to see them.

[WildChild]

So his behavior is escalating? Is he remarried? Taking any meds? Does he drink? Can you think of anything that might contribute to his behavior?

Hate to say it but you may have to just toe the line but I hate to think of you in this situation.