[kristalyn_04]

I have so done this, and it didnt help much. in fact it just made things worse.

he has already told you what his feelings are, asking him again is just you hoping to get a different answer.

No, well you see sperosi, I have been getting mixed messages from him for 3 months. He says something then later on he'll say something else that contradicts it. It's driving me crazy, and I just can't do it anymore. I need to get a straight, honest answer from him, so I can move on. I know asking him to be completely honest with me won't affect our friendship, because it means a lot to both of us and neither of us are willing to let go of that for anything.

I think your situation is a bit different from mine. Your guy is happily married (I'm assuming), and to my knowledge, never admitted feelings for you. Mine was in an unhealthy relationship, is now single, and he admitted feelings for me before I ever opened my mouth about how I felt about him. Things got very complicated very quickly after he told me how he felt. Now I need to know the truth, what is really in his heart, unclouded by what is going through his mind. I need closure. When I talk to him, I'll post how it went.

[Guest]

i was talking about another instance from the past. do as you think you must, but IMHO if he really wanted to, you would know for sure already.

[kristalyn_04]

update...

i was talking about another instance from the past. do as you think you must, but IMHO if he really wanted to, you would know for sure already.

oh... sorry sperosi, I was assuming you were referring to your most recent situation, my bad.

OK so... I talked to him the other day. I knew what might come out of his mouth but I was not prepared for how I would feel about it. He said he was conflicted about me for awhile, but after being forced to think about it, he says he "loves me as a friend" but does not have romantic feelings towards me. He also said it has nothing to do with his gender preference, he thinks it's because we have been close friends for two years but it feels like much longer. He considers me his best friend and has a hard time picturing us as a couple. You were all right, I should have left this alone a long time ago.

I accepted his answer, but I was crushed. I know I can't be angry at him, because he can't help the way that he feels. I'm just upset with this whole situation and the way it dragged out for 3 months. He let me believe that he felt something, knowing that I have feelings for him... IMO he should have thought all this through before telling me he had feelings for me. I feel like I was lead on, on top of being heartbroken. I offered my heart to him, only to have it pushed away and told that his "feelings" weren't real. IDK, maybe I pushed him too hard, maybe I don't have the right to feel this way, but I do. I promised him that we would always be friends, and I meant it. However, I don't know if our friendship will ever be as close as it once was after all of this. I was hurt deeply, and not really sure where to go from here. I really hope I get past this, because I don't want to lose my best friend... only time will tell. Thanks again for your input everyone.

[Hopeless Dork]

Sorry Kristalyn I am sure the reason it dragged on the way it did , that he was trying to delay the inevitable breaking of your heart. He should have told you the truth long ago, so as to not get your hopes up... but was probably conflicted , crushing someone he cares so much for as a friend. Its not an enviable postion. Not for either of you.

You are hurt now, but you will heal. If he's a good friend to you and you enjoy his company you'll get back to feeling that way eventually. you might need some time and distance for you to heal and get your bearings back. he should be understanding of that.

You are a beautful girl, with an open heart... and you are going to find someone that is just as into you as you are them... and its going to feel amazing, I promise.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Time sometimes can't be short.

Sometimes, it takes time to evaluate, work out.

Maybe over those three months initially he felt "maybe" there was something there and so he worked towards that thought, still digesting it, your hidden signals as well, and straight forward remarks and therefore, he entertained the idea, thought about it worked with it, to establish that no, it's just a bond of difference, a soul connection of difference.

What you need to realise is that those bonds " sister/brother", "best friends", often actually, eventually turn into relationships, or remain where they are at.

This is the thing. You have to purely get on with your life, be his friend and if it's meant to be it will.

Certainly as HD said, he could also have been so concerened for the friendship, not ever wanting to lose it, that he couldn't open up and tell you either..

But, what's important is that you need to move on now. And, let the Universe work it's magic what will be will be..

CW