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  • Guest

    cold feet

    My bf and I have decided about a couple of weeks ago that we would like to take our relationship to the next step and move in. I am excited and scared at the same time. I like to have that space. The thing is that I stay at his place all the time. Why should I keep paying rent for a place I'm hardly at. Also, his place is too small for us being there ALL the time. I think it would not turn out well. I don't know what to do.
  • LanaBear
    Veteran Member
    • Jul 2009
    • 8373

    HAHA - I opened it up thinking poor circulation, but I see that's not what you meant.

    You can live with each other, but still have your space. You have to still do your own things and be your own person.

    Does it make sense for you two to get a new place together, so it's not yours, not his, but the both of yours? If his place is too small, is your place a better option?

    If you are constantly staying at his place now, what does your place offer, other than a safety net?

    Comment

    • CHANDLERS WISH
      • Mar 2008
      • 22440

      HAHA - I opened it up thinking poor circulation
      ROLMAO

      Mam, it's the "next step" space is what you make of it, friends, family, time out, going out, and coming home to your man, it's called compromise

      I can't remember aren't there two other guys there? He kicked one out?

      Be excited and ensure you take time out for you including "bath time" candles, for you, and paint your nails

      CW
      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

      Comment

      • Mes T
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2009
        • 2678

        If the place feels too small, what's the harm in waiting 'til you get a bigger one?

        Comment

        • asiangrace
          Veteran Member
          • Nov 2009
          • 281

          My boyfriend and I live in a very small place and it can feel cramped sometimes. But we are 110% compatible. Better than ANY previous room mates I have had. The way that we compensate for the space is that we have our own day time/night time activities that give us the space we need but also more than adequate time together. Moving in with someone is always a risk so you just have to consider if the risk is worth it

          Find some activities that you can do seperately if you find that you need space.

          But you're right, there is no sense in paying for a place you are never at! But I do understand that security of having that space.

          Possibly have an agreement before moving in that if it does feel cramped and not getting along, that jeopardizing your relationship isn't worth it so either of you are free to get your own place w/o breaking up/hard feelings.

          Or something like that.

          I am sure it'll be fine. Or as Mes_T said, too, if you are very worried about it, just wait until both of you can afford a bigger place together.

          Comment

          • Guest

            Originally posted by Mes_T
            If the place feels too small, what's the harm in waiting 'til you get a bigger one?
            There isn't one.. I just wanted to eliminate me paying rent at a place that I'm never at. Maybe I should at least spend some time there... lol.

            Comment

            • Mes T
              Veteran Member
              • Oct 2009
              • 2678

              My bf and I are pretty much in the same situation, have separate apartments but live in his.

              But I still use my apartment for at least an hour or two each day to unwind, watch some show, pig out on some chocolate, shower (my bathroom's nicer than his)... I wouldn't be ready to give that up for a while yet.

              I know you're paying for something that seems useless at the moment, but I feel like this is one of those things that you *might* REALLY miss once it's gone.

              Comment

              • Texinator
                Veteran Member
                • Sep 2009
                • 5556

                Originally posted by Mes_T
                pig out on some chocolate, shower (my bathroom's nicer than his)...
                Chocolate milk bath!

                Comment

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