[PetitePrincess1]

Wild Child you are so wise. I am liking this board because the ppl are so nice with their responses and not nasty like a lot of others seem to be.

"Too many people have them because they think they "should".

Yep that is the feeling I am getting. I've never had any urgency for marriage/ I never thought about it in my 20's /didn't care.

Marriage and kids does feel like something I just "should be doing" - particularly before it's biologically too late and I regret it.

[PetitePrincess1]

Reporting back.

Here I am at the 3 month mark. Overall I am so thrilled about him and I hope and pray we can stay together and make this work. He is a very mature, polite, hard working and sophisticated young man who always makes time to see me on a regular basis. We see each other twice a week, sometimes three times a week when his workload is easing.....we have done a lot of double dates with his friends, we have been on a weekend trip alone together and have another one planned soon with his group of friends. A few of his friends and I get along really well which has been good. I think he is particularly loving all the 'couply' things and especially loves having a girl to take to nice restaurants (e.g. he actually said he has never had a girl to take before) I have had a lot of hints from him and friends that he really hasn't had a real gf before.

There are some things that have niggled away at me at times - and I haven't been sure if that's 'just his personality' or if they are signs that he just isn't that into me. e.g. he doesn't compliment me very often. (well compared to what I am used to which has been *all the time* with past guys) so I don't feel very special. In the three months we have dated, he has only ever called once to 'chat' and that was when he was overseas. The rest have been quick 'purpose calls' from work organising the next date. Fine. Not a worry. But days and days can go by and I feel like we don't really know what is going on with each other too well and that worries me.

I never get any mushy, sweet texts, no goodnight texts or thinking of you texts - no real emotion like I am always used to so its hard to know if he feels much or thinks about me much. There are some days he just doesn't seem very affectionate and I feel really rejected and like he doesn't like me. But then all of a sudden (and most definitely always when he has had a drink) he is super affectionate then I feel loved again.

He went to boarding school his entire life so I sometimes wonder if that is why he seems so good at being detached from loved ones without a worry.

For a while there, particularly at the beginning it felt like he just never ever asked me any questions about myself. But that seems to have improved now. Then last week we were out with his group and after having not touched me once all night he reached behind me and started massaging his friends girlfriends neck whilst talking to her. I felt extremely awkward about it, especially since he hadn't been affectionate with me and looked away and looked back he was still doing it. Later on I told him not to ever touch another girl in front of me again (yes I didn't approach that issue very well).

So apart from those things he is an absolutely gorgeous soul. Very smiley, very happy, very talkative, friendly, approachable and likeable.

As for his life priorities, he wrote down his life long goals a few weeks ago. He wants to be engaged/married by 30 and have two 2 - 3 year old kids by 35. This will put me at 38 for engagement/marriage and at 38 - 43yrs for children - which I feel is far too risky for me, I would prefer 35/36 for kids - and so this is definitely something he would have to compromise on if we were to stay together.

This is all theoretically speaking of course - he wants to go overseas for 3 months in December so I think that will make or break us.

So yes that is where things are at.

Any tactics you can suggest re: some of the lack of emotion/compliments/feelings stuff would be appreciated I have tried to encourage this a bit by sending a few 'goodnight xx thanks for a good night' style texts but they were just ignored and I felt stupid for bothering and won't try that again. He does respond instantly to witty/humorous texts though.

[PetitePrincess1]

So yes I guess the good news and answer to my original question about marriage and kids has easily been 'resolved' and I feel comfortable that I can fit in with his 'life plan' particularly if he adjusts it by a few years (although I understand people's goals and idea's will change over time) but at least it isn't something extreme right now lol

So there area only minor issues now - deal with the little neglectful thoughtful emotional type things he lacks - and accept that is how he is - or work on it

I have read the five love languages and he is DEFINITELY an Acts of Services man which greatly eased my initial worries and settled my mind I started to notice all the other ways he was showing his love