[Guest]

I have seen alot of girls say that girls should play hard to get and let the guy chase and so on. But why? Do girls enjoy to play games with guys? Or do you think guys like girls who play hard to get? Or are you afraid that the guy will lose intrest if you don't play hard to get? For me it seems very strange why any guy would actually like it when the girl plays hard to get and makes him chase her.

[Fallen1]

Seems to me it would be better to find a middle ground. You wouldn't want them to think you were to eager but then again you wouldn't want them to think you were not interested.

Hard to get, I've don't understood that one myself. I've never thought playing games was a good way to do things.

[Texinator]

For me it seems very strange why any guy would actually like it when the girl plays hard to get and makes him chase her.

Because when he finally does get her, it gives him the sense that he accomplished something and it makes him feel important. Something along the lines of 'She wasn't interested in me, but I'm so good that I was able to make her interested'

That's how it is with some guys at least. I personally find it a huge turnoff. Two people should be together if they like each other; they shouldn't be wasting each others time playing childish mind games.

[Mes T]

I also don't like these games and find them a huge turn-off.

But it's true, many people think that guys (and girls) would be more interested in them if they played hard to get.

Maybe it also depends on age, experience...?

[Texinator]

I used to think it was something for people in their teens and early twenties, where the girls thought that guys wouldn't respect them if they didn't make it a challenge and where guys wanted to feel that they were some sort of talented 'hunters.'

Many do grow out of it, but there are still plenty of people of both genders that continue these games into their thirties, forties, and so forth.

I think with women it is more of a belief that both must follow certain rules during dating, e.g. that he shouldn't call for x number of days after a date (otherwise he's desperate) but he also shouldn't wait for more than x number of days to call (otherwise he's not interested).

[Mes T]

I think with women it is more of a belief that both must follow certain rules during dating, e.g. that he shouldn't call for x number of days after a date (otherwise he's desperate) but he also shouldn't wait for more than x number of days to call (otherwise he's not interested).

True. I hate those "rules." Like when a woman whines that so-and-so hasn't called her yet... and turns out she hadn't contacted him in any way either.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Is it an age thing though?

For instance, a young lady is up against, all the young men, whom aren't ready to settle down into a relationship, unless, someone special really attracts him, otherwise, he's having fun.. So hense, in my opinion the rule applies, it's not a game, rather, treading very carefully and making a point of stance.

In the early 20's + onwards, well, I don't see that we have to be so guarded, a man should be a man and know what he's looking for, but still, does it not depend on finding out a bit about him? Where he is heading in life? What he is after, and off course, what she is after.

At my age, I'm too old for games, just one thought, never on the first date, why? IDK, I just think it gives a message of "horny" instead of " like"... and a chance for that second date, and just a tad more "bond" and sex with a little bonding, is way more orgasmic than one of just sex, with a stranger, I think.

Then again, can I change my mind? Chemistry = orgasmic= never mind

CW

[grrrr]

It's kind of funny, I had a similar conversation with my friend about this (years ago). I liked a guy, and wasnt sure how he felt, and thought that "playing coy" was what would sort of "snag" him.... at the end of the conversation we were both laughing b/c at the end of the day if you're not really who you are it's going to skew the any relationship that the two people have - that's my thought - not to say that "'coy' flirting" isn't fun, or flirting for that matter isn't a blast....

I kind of think that we've grown into this type of mindset where we meet ONE person who we think we really want to be with and are willing to "play games" and hide our personalities or change them just to get that ONE person, forgetting that there are plenty of people out there.

Sometimes being genuine, not hiding behind "personas" and just being "real" will garner you the person with whom you get along with the best!

Again, what do I know? I just know that it's harder to be someone that you're not.... and sometimes "game playing" isn't the person that you are....

[WildChild]

My experience and observation is that if a woman is "too easy" many men back off or vanish. The reasoning seems to be that if he can get her into bed easily, so could any other man. The idea that she is really attracted to him, doesn't seem to occur to many of them.

[grrrr]

WC, good point.

Really though, games are about "control" - is that what a healthy relationship makes?