[shoes34]

Not sure if this is the correct place for this thread - but here goes.

New to this site, my ex and I broke up in January, completely out of the blue and at the end of January we slept together and this continued on and off for a few months until Easter. We then had a chat and he said even though he loved being in my company and we had an amazing sex life he felt we weren't compatable.

Two weeks ago he texted me and then last weekend he was at a wedding and phoned me late that night and then the next day he text me to see if I was still in bed and if I was could he come and join me, I told him I was up and to as tempting as it was not sure if it would be a good idea. Now he wasn't drunk and in the end he came over and we had "afternoon delights". he left and I went off doing some stuff and we met that night out in the bar but he said that he still felt the same and as great as the afternoon was he didn't want to get back into stuff. His friend told him he was leaving and he told him to wait that he'd go with him the friend then said why would you do that and left on his own. So then we went home together.

i know he is probably just using me and worse is I am letting him use me and confuse me even more and I don't know what to do about it - I miss having him hold me so much and cuddling me.

Thanks for reading.

[Mes T]

Yep. He's using you.

Sever all ties with him and find a proper boyfriend.

That's my advice, anyway!

[stressed]

He misses the sex life you had, not you. He's only around to have sex, nothing else. Don't let him make you believe that he's still emotionally connected with you, because he is not. As soon as he finds a gf, he will either want to continue this with you on the side, or end it as suddenly as he broke up with you.

Ignore him and move on.

[Joey]

Yep. He's using you.

Sever all ties with him and find a proper boyfriend.

That's my advice, anyway!

Totally agree. couldnt have said it better myself

[WildChild]

Block his calls, quit talking to him and let yourself get past him. He is playing and you aren't moving on because of it.

[lushley666]

I think he is 'having his cake and eating it! Or keeping his options open!! It's hard but you have to get over him or he will end up hurting you big time!

[Ahryin]

Read the book Steve Harvey wrote, its honestly very good. I think the title is Act like a Woman Think like a Man.

You do not have to avoid his calls, just simply stick up for yourself. Explain to him that you are NOT a cheap trick, and can no longer engage is sexual activity of any kind without commitment.

I can tell you that yes he is using you just for his pleasure, somewhere after the relationship ended you became his booty call

[GlassDaemon]

Yep. He's using you.

Sever all ties with him and find a proper boyfriend.

That's my advice, anyway!

I agree too.

This makes me think of P.S. I love you, it was a horrible movie and a very, very cruel thing to do to someone, it makes them hold onto a memory. In this case your ex partner is not dead, but he's still dragging out your feelings for him just because he can. He's making you hurt more because he doesn't want to let go. If you're not compatible, fine, break it off, don't keep playing games, it's only making it more painful.

Cut off connection completely until you feel comfortable that you can talk to him without strings. I've done it with my ex's, some of them didn't like it cause they still "wanted to be friends" which is fine but they gatta be willing to wait until I no longer see them as a lover, which my first love... that took about three or four months. Not to make this any worse, but I never remained friends with any of my ex's that I loved, with the time that I needed to "move on" we just drifted away from any sort of possible friendship.

[kygirl]

Shoes,

Just wanted to say that I agree with everyone else. I think he will use you until he finds someone else. Don't let that happen. Break ties now and move on to someone who will want to be with you sex or no sex, day or night. You deserve better!!

[LanaBear]

Unless you are looking for completely unattached sex, a FWB's relationship, stop having sex with him.

He's using you. If you don't want FWB's, move him along and go on with your life.