[tcc56]

i really need some help with my realtionship with my husband. I t started four years ago when the police turned up at my house and took my husband down the police station he was later charged with down loading child porn. He was not allowed to live with me and the children for two years, and i had to give my job up as he looked after the children while i wasn,t their.I had social workers all over me, i was absoulatley disgusted with him. After two years he was allowed to move back with me, and have since discovered he has joined dating sites please help.

[Ashlee T.]

Dating sites, that's a whole seperate issue. And in my opinion, not the crucial one. The fact of the matter is, you have a man, living in your home, WITH your children who was arrested and banned from your home for 2 years for CHILD PORNOGRAPHY. Are the red lights flashing? They should be. Whether they are biologically connected to him or not, your children are at risk. It is NOT okay for man to be sexually attracted to children. And even by some slim chance that your children are actually safe with him, when they bring little friends home to stay the night, how sure will you be? He doesn't need to be in your house or alone with your children or anyone elses, period.

Now you find him on dating sites, so now not only is he looking at naked children in a sexual manner, he's also out looking for other adults to play with? A dating site is different than looking at adult porn. Being a part of a dating site to me shows INTENT of dating, INTENT of casual encounter, INTENT of finding someone.

Nows the time to do some soul searching for you and your children. Why are you still in this marriage? Why is he still in your home? You know you need to get out.


I'm glad you're here and are seeking some advice. You will get good advice here.

[Joey]

......and you let him back into your house???????

I totally agree with all that BD has said. How can you trust this man around your children knowing that he was arrested for downloading child porn?!

Im not 100% sure where the worry is with him joining a dating site, when the real worry should be with his presence around your children.

[jns]

If he has joined dating websites, then he probably looking for others that don't know his background.

There is much about this situation that you haven't told about. Do you believe him to be wrongly accused? Do you believe he won't harm your children? Do you love him more than the children? Who's children are they?

You have given up so much for a damaged individual. Is he worth it? Why didn't you divorce him? Does he provide sufficient support?

[BasketCase]

Ugh......... I apoligize for my blanteness. I usualy try to remain neutral but I cannot on this subject.

I really don't like this. What is your reasoning for continuing to be with this man exactly? I feel like you really need to find the answer to this question.
If it is beacuse you love him then I am really sorry but love is not always enough.If it is because you need financial support there are programs in place for these types of situations.

If there is any chance....any chance in the world that this man could abuse your children then you should leave him immeditaly. Sexual molestation, in my opinion, is the worst thing that can happen to a child. Please be mindful of that...always.

As for the dating sites I tend to agree with JNS that he may be looking for someone that doesn't know. Maybe he is ashamed (as he should be).

Dump him. Take your children to another town. Because if the kids at school know about there father then they will always have to live with that stigma. Do you want them to have to go through that. Children can be mean and cruel. And even if he never touches them they still have to live with that.

If you are lucky. They are young. You can take them away(no court in the world would side with him if you didn't want him to see them). Don't tell them about him until they are old enough to handle the truth. And if they are older, then you and your children should all have family counseling together. Find out how they feel about this man..

Good Luck. Please, please do the right thing for your kids.