Hi ladies.
I'll try to make my story as short as I can:
I met this guy at a work event, at first I didn't notice him, but the second time I laid eyes on him (a few weeks later) I felt instantly infatuated. We exchanged only a few awkward sentences, during which my nerves were obvious, I assume he saw right through me, but he's a nice fellow, he was polite. And that was the last time I saw him in person. He appeared on my mind every other day and after several weeks, when I had already heard that he was in fact in a relationship (I assume quite long-term and serious) and moved back to where he is from (far away), I decided I would make an effort to become friends. I sent him a message, he wrote me back a nice careless reply a weeks later. I let it go. All kinds of important events going on in my life in the meantime. A few months passed and I remembered about him once or twice a week. Then I decided to drop him a quick line, he wrote back a few days later with a few words (he's not much of an online communicator) and again I managed to let it go, not with too much difficulty. Another couple of months passed, again having him cross my mind every other day (by that time I had gotten used to it and just lived with it) until a few months ago when I started thinking about him every single day. My life and line of work are generally lonely, I do meet a lot of people, but still emptiness is all in the air around me, my friends are all too busy for psycho-analytical or any kind of chat with me. I have found myself (far from just once) losing sleep over thinking of him and going out of my mind trying to be realistic, completely realizing how stupid all this is and how he doesn't have a clue and doesn't need to know any of this at all. It goes deeper, I've been crying and crying and feeling silly at my inability to pull myself together. Now I still think of him every day and I feel like a foolish little girl, who has a crush on an imaginary friend, only he is very real and honestly doesn't care about me in a real-world way. I wonder how I can be so blindly in love with this stranger, after all we still don't know each other. It's going to be a year soon and I don't know what to do. At least this doesn't mess up my work too much, thankfully, I think I am managing to stay strong. But I dream of him all the time, I dream of loving him, I cry over him, I dream of not having to get over him and look for someone different... even if I clearly know how wrong and messed-up this is and potentially bad for my health... And nothing seems to work distraction-wise. I am starting to feel desperate for an instant and final solution, as this is going on already too long, which scares me, as it means it's actually getting worse. I know I'm far from being the first girl with a similar situation, but the fact that it's been a long time gives me another screwed-up reason to keep holding onto the idea of him, since it feels like I have some history with this man. It's ridiculous, he doesn't even know. It's my own problem.
So now I turn to you!
Please help!!!
I'll try to make my story as short as I can:
I met this guy at a work event, at first I didn't notice him, but the second time I laid eyes on him (a few weeks later) I felt instantly infatuated. We exchanged only a few awkward sentences, during which my nerves were obvious, I assume he saw right through me, but he's a nice fellow, he was polite. And that was the last time I saw him in person. He appeared on my mind every other day and after several weeks, when I had already heard that he was in fact in a relationship (I assume quite long-term and serious) and moved back to where he is from (far away), I decided I would make an effort to become friends. I sent him a message, he wrote me back a nice careless reply a weeks later. I let it go. All kinds of important events going on in my life in the meantime. A few months passed and I remembered about him once or twice a week. Then I decided to drop him a quick line, he wrote back a few days later with a few words (he's not much of an online communicator) and again I managed to let it go, not with too much difficulty. Another couple of months passed, again having him cross my mind every other day (by that time I had gotten used to it and just lived with it) until a few months ago when I started thinking about him every single day. My life and line of work are generally lonely, I do meet a lot of people, but still emptiness is all in the air around me, my friends are all too busy for psycho-analytical or any kind of chat with me. I have found myself (far from just once) losing sleep over thinking of him and going out of my mind trying to be realistic, completely realizing how stupid all this is and how he doesn't have a clue and doesn't need to know any of this at all. It goes deeper, I've been crying and crying and feeling silly at my inability to pull myself together. Now I still think of him every day and I feel like a foolish little girl, who has a crush on an imaginary friend, only he is very real and honestly doesn't care about me in a real-world way. I wonder how I can be so blindly in love with this stranger, after all we still don't know each other. It's going to be a year soon and I don't know what to do. At least this doesn't mess up my work too much, thankfully, I think I am managing to stay strong. But I dream of him all the time, I dream of loving him, I cry over him, I dream of not having to get over him and look for someone different... even if I clearly know how wrong and messed-up this is and potentially bad for my health... And nothing seems to work distraction-wise. I am starting to feel desperate for an instant and final solution, as this is going on already too long, which scares me, as it means it's actually getting worse. I know I'm far from being the first girl with a similar situation, but the fact that it's been a long time gives me another screwed-up reason to keep holding onto the idea of him, since it feels like I have some history with this man. It's ridiculous, he doesn't even know. It's my own problem.
So now I turn to you!
Please help!!!
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