[attagirl28]

Prepare yourself for a long, long, long story. Before hand i do realize i made a lot of mistakes.

My best friend liz got some guys number and they talked a lot and she introduced him to myself and my other best friend Bri. I immeddiatlety liked him, but didn't say anything cause Liz liked him a lot. I started texting him and he told me he liked liz. After like a year i finally talked him into asking her out. She did and for some reason that only God knows, she said no. For like 4 months i apologized to him and we started talking and got super close. He ended up finding out that i liked him and we somehow ended up dating for three months. At the end of those three months he suddenly quit talking to me.

Three months later he gets a hold of me and said that he had gotten into trouble. I asked him if we were still dating and he said, "I want to." I was totally happy, but he quit talking to me again. Next thing i know he's talking to my friend Bri, flirting with her, kissing her on Valentines day. He finally sayd to me, i really like Bri would you be mad if i asked her out.

After a lot of thinking i said, "Go for it, I'm not going to be selfish. I know Bri likes you. Just because it didn't work out with us doesn't mean Bri can't have you." I was being honest here, I'm not the type of girl who holds onto someone who doesn't care.

All three of us (Bri, Lizzy, and me) were all on the same page about Eric and were cool with it. Well, until Bri confronted saying some of things he saaid bothered her.
1. Eric said he always liked her the most, since the day they met.( first time they met Bri threw a shoe at his head)

2. He missed me but he really loved Bri. (???)

Then he had told her all this other that me and Lizzy quickly decided were complete BS. Long story short ( ya right) We all Called him, ed him out, and erased him from our lives.

1 year later he texts Bri, i get his number from her, apologize for freaking out on him he blows me off. A few months later i try again and he blows me off. A few months later i try again and we finally get on good terms and start getting close again and he tells me he misses me. Then he like dissappears for a couple months. He gets a hold of me, we get close again, and then we get in a argument about how he treats me. He dissappears.

A year and a half later he gets a hold of me, we get close, he asks me out on a date, he blows me off. He tries to make it up by taking me to the movies, blows me off. He dissappears,

9 months later i call him and we start talking. He dissappears.

He calls me the other day and now we are back onto the getting close again part.

Its stupid i shouldn't associate with this guy but everytime he gets a hold of me, my heart pounds like crazy, a get a huge grin, and all i think about is him. He sweeps me off my feet.

Am i stupid and just letting him drag me around? Is he just a dip**** that messes with girls?

Or could he possibly care about me?

I think my heart will brake if he dissappears again or if its all fake?

Please help be, i feel psycotic.

P.s. He says he has issues that mess with his relationships like abuse, being arrested, even rape. (Excuses?)

[Mes T]

I think while you're still young it might be best to get into the habit of avoiding guys like that.

You want a nice boyfriend, right? There will be tons of guys in your life who will give you that butterfly-in-the-tummy feeling, so don't stick to this guy just because he happens to do it too.

It sounds like he likes a whole bunch of different girls all at the same time, can't (or doesn't want to) make a decision to just stick with one of them... And his excuses for his behavior (even if they're not real) just put up a big red flag for me. Rape? Whaaat? Like, HE did that to someone?

I'd say, to you, to let this guy run around like a chicken with its head cut off, and you go and find someone who is on your level.

[attagirl28]

oh god no i mean he was raped.


And thank you, i don't think anyone has told me that. Good advice, best i've gotten

[DarkZephyr]

Attagirl, I have been in a similar situation, being into what I call the "flighty type" of guy. The "Now you see him, now you don't" stripe. He will enter your life for like a second, make you feel great and then vanish from existence for awhile, leaving you pining away for him and feeling upset, hurt and maybe even dumb for falling for it yet again. My advice is to FORGET about this guy. Drop him like a burning hot potato and move on. Its as Mes_T said. There are PLENTY of men who will give you that butterfly feeling without ACTING like a butterfly, flittering off into oblivion for extended periods of time.

[JadedQueen]

Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants.... I wouldn't continue to contact him... if he disappears again let him go you are better off without him. If he keeps disappearing and you are always willing to welcome him back when he decided to grace you with his presence he'll never treat you the way you should be treated cuz the pattern of you welcoming him back has already been established. I don't think this guy knows what he wants (or he's a player and he's getting exactly what he wants) so he's not worth your time and energy.... move on and find someone that likes you and won't pull the disappearing act. Good luck.