[Elidicious]

I have this friend who is having her first boyfriend for about 9 months now but they haven't had sex yet.
She told me she loves him, he seems to love her too but she wants to wait a bit more[before she loses her virginity to him].

They've even been arguing a couple of times because seems like the guy is becoming impatient to have sex with her.
On the other hand she is advised to leave him because if he really loved her, he'd wait no matter how long that would take. [according to some]
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My questions are :
- Is it true that only someone who really loves you will wait for you (even if it has to be a long time), before they have sex with you?

- How much would you be willing to wait to have sex with your SO until they are ready for it?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think that no one should put pressure on someone to have sex.

What she has to determine in those arguements is if, he is arguing that she hasn't given it to him, or if he is feeling that she doesn't love him and never will, so in-other-words, a fear on his side.

Either way, he should not be putting any pressure on her...

Virginity is totally different I think, than dating someone, going out with someone and waiting until it "feels right" and I guess that's the bottom line, it should feel right, this is the right time, the right person, a want and desire to...

CW

[kira]

I sure wouldn't wait for someone else. They'd get demoted to a friend to hang out with quite soon. Therefore I wouldn't expect anyone else to wait around forever. People have needs and if those aren't fulfilled they will get stressed and the relationship will fall apart. I'm not saying anyone should be pressured in to sex and someone who cares about you will be understanding but even someone that loves you generally won't wait forever. It's a rare person that will without the relationship falling apart.

If she doesn't feel like losing her virginity to him maybe he's not the right one anyway.

[bringhomethepassion]

If it's really important to her that she wait to lose her virginity to someone when it feels right then she should stick to that. just because the person she is with right now doesn't value her belief as much as she does it doesn't mean she should change her belief. She needs to hold strong to what she believes in. A real man who loves her for who she is would respect her beliefs and desires. There is no set time frame as to when it's right to lose your virginity to someone or when it's been long enough that you are really in love. When it feels right, and you don't question it, then you know it's time.

[Little]

I don't think it's fair to ask someone to do anything that makes them uncomfortable or keeps their needs from being fulfilled in a relationship.
That's a two ways street:
Your friend should not be asked to lose her virginity before she is ready, but ...
Her boyfriend should not be asked to stay in a relationship where he is not getting the sex he wants/needs.
If she wants to wait, for however long necessary, that is HER decision and she should stick by it, regardless of what her partner would have her do ... but if he wants to leave because of the sex, that's his prerogative.
The idea of the statement "if he really loves you, he'll wait" is to give girls who WANT to keep their virginity the courage to do so in the face of pressure. It's a motivating statement, but it's kind of misleading. If they really love each other, they will come to a compromise that allows them both to harmoniously remain in the relationship OR harmoniously go their separate ways. Sex is an integral part of adult romantic relationships (unless for some reason both partners have agreed for it not to be) and is something everyone has to get used to at some time.
I think the most pertinent questions here are, how old is she, and why does she want to keep her virginity? And why does her boyfriend (deep down) want to have sex with her? People have different reasons, it's important to know them.
Personally, I would not wait for a partner if, at the beginning of the relationship, they decided they did not want sex. If it were to come in the middle of the relationship, and relate to their health or other serious consideration, it would be very different. I would not stay with someone who changed their religious beliefs in the middle of the relationship to exclude sex.

[Elidicious]

She is 22, she doesn't want to wait 'til marriage, they are in a committed relationship - monogamous, it has nothing to do with religion....she is just afraid of the idea of having sex also ... she doesn't feel like giving it to him for the way he's asking for it.