[babycakes]

Two weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me.

We've known each other for 3 years and gone out for 2.

When he broke up with me I went through the whole text messaging terror thing, calling him all the time, crying, wanting to kill myself...the whole shabang for losing my first love and breakup.

The breakup happend after we had this argument and the thing is we don't ever argue.

It's a long story and i posted why he broke up with me on a different post. Well now I've calmed down and when I talk to him i'm neutral, well kind of.

Last week on Saturday I saw my ex and asked him to make the relationship happen again...and he was lsaid no..so we kept talking about it and I kind of forced him to get back with me by saying "your just confused and stressed out" because he just made it in the police academy and he's been very different.

So he agreed to take things slow and he starts to make out with me, cuddle with me, and then we did foreplay.

When I left things seemed to end on a good note so on the next day I called him and when he said hi, he didn't seemed happy to hear my voice.

So i asked how his day was and this is not a new thing that i'm doing because i always call him to ask how his day went ever since we became good friend 3 years ago.

Anyways I mentioned the whole how yesterday was fun and he wasn't saying anything. I asked him if he can see the relationship working out and he said no.

Then i said then what was yesterday about and he said i don't know....to make it short I ended the conversation by telling him "since you don't know why your breaking up with me then maybe you should tell me what my problem was so the next time i'm in a relationship with someone else I don't mess it up".

Three days later I call him and he said that nothing is wrong with me..he said "your perfectly fine it's just that i wouldn't be unhappy".

I always ask him why would you be unhappy and he doesn't know why. So on this previous Tuesday, we saw each other and it was awkward. I cried and told him how much I love him even though I was trying to hold it back..then he told me that I'm a great person and he hugs me.

Then I remembered how he always tells me to never give up because people who give up are losers..on his wall he wrote "never give up". So i said to him, "you always tell me to never give up, and every time I had the feeling to leave you when I wasn't happy with myself or because i was mad at you, I stuck by it like a champ and worked it out, unlike you he gives up on the person who unconditionally loves you and who was always by your side. Just because your unhappy with yourself or how you felt because of one argument that you didn't apologize for doesn't mean you take it out on our relationship just to hurt me".

He then replied "you have a good point" and then smiled at me and gave me a big hug. Then he said whatever he is feeling he won't hold it back. He leaned over to me and then kissed me on the lips and i turned my head aways saying "don't kiss me if your just trying to make me feel better" and he goes "I'm not" with a smile. He kept kissing me and I kept saying stop trying to make me feel better. I asked him why are you like this and he said he loves me sexually because he said I'm beautiful on the outside (not to me mean but what a comment) that didn't make me feel good at all because I'm so nice to him, I never made him see me when he was busy, I was the one who told him to rekindle with old friends (without forcing him). He doesn't know how to cook so I always made him food when he's hungry..I do everything for him. But he has also done great things for me like take me to school in the mornings when i didn't have a ride all of last year. So the relationship was equal.

O and get this..two weeks before he broke up with me he asked me to live with him because he knows I have a hard time a home, but i said no. SO right now I'm confused.

I don't know if he loves me, if he's stressed out from the whole academy thing, or what.

This thursday we are going to see each other because that's when we are both free..and i know when i see him he's going to be holding me and kissing me..but i want him to fall back in love with me because of my personality not because of my body..something about has really changed about him.

How can he look me in the eye and kiss me passionatly and say that he doesn't love me.

To tell you guys the truth he's always been dope even when i met he wasn't that bright..he can't decide on what he want's to watch or eat on a daily bases..sooo yeahh .

I said no friend with benefits but he can't keep his hands off me and I melt when he holds me ughh.

WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE THIS!!! DOES HE STILL LOVE ME DEEP INSIDE OR NOT!!!

[sourpuss]

I think the best thing for you would be to not see him for a while. He's taking advantage of the fact that you want it to work. He's made it more than clear that he doesn't want a relationship. Unfortunately, you'll just have to accept it and move on. But spending time with him will only make it harder for you. Being physical will always give you the hope that he will change his mind, it's not fair to you.
Cancel on your plans next week and keep yourself busy so you don't cave. Make an appointment to get a massage or get your nails done instead. Do something to make yourself feel good. If things change in a few weeks, then maybe revisit the idea, but for now you're being taken advantage of.

[babycakes]

It's weird because I don't feel like I'm being taken advantage of..I guess it's because I want him to kiss and hug me..When I don't want him to go any further he can't stop... . We are both each others first everything and It's hard for me to think so negative about him. He was the shy guy who didn't talk to girls but he never gave up talking to me. He told me that he can' see himself marrying me and that's why he broke up with me...but why is he thinking about marriage. Even in the beginning he asked me if i will be his only love for the rest of his life and i was kind of weirded out by it but he really did treat me like a queen. But now he's scared because of what i said. I didn't even yell at him or threat him....I sent him a text that explained how i felt.. anger wise..i didn't threat to leave him or anything and he acted like he was the victim..I even apologized right after i said how angry i was because i didn't want him to take it personal..btw he's a confusing mama's boy who thinks that if a girl gets mad at her partner she's not worthy..I guess he needs to go find his balls before he can get back in a relationship. Even though i'm venting out by saying these mean things I still love him with all my heart.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

babycakes, you love him because you don't know any different. He was your first. You have no idea, what's out there and if there is better and basically, I'm here to tell you THERE IS.

See, the problem is, he has stated " I love the outside of you, your sexy" and his procrastination of leaving/staying, is because he isn't getting any from anywhere else, so it's easy isn't it, to kiss you and get foreplay and what ever else, occurs.. Your available, your there..

You said, " how do I get him back? " in another thread.

Don't kiss, him don't do foreplay, or other. Don't be available "sexually" ....

He may be 20 but you know as well as we do, that no where is he thanking you for the "inside" of you, "all that you have done" , "all that you are", he's only interested in the sexy side, and basically that's called USING someone.

You say you "don't want to be a FWB's" but that's the position you are in right now.

Don't be fooled by a kiss... He wasn't interested in you wanting to know how his day was, but he's interested in hooking up again, to get some.

Is that what you really deserve?

He's your first, trust me when I tell you that there is a whole ocean of men out there, just like him as much as there is a whole ocean of men out there, that actually would appreciate the love you give and love you for you THE INNER PERSON, as well as the sexy person that you are and show you both.

He has found his balls That's what he is thinking with

Sorry love that's my take.

CW