[Georgey]

Okay so I'm new here and i don't particularly know how this works but here goes...

Me and my boyfriend have been together a little over 7 months and our relationship has recently become extremely rocky, our sex life has gone downhill and its just not exciting any more, iv been very moody lately and according to my boyfriend I'm boring as well. I haven't really got any friends, I have no job which is why I get so moody and possibly why he finds me boring as I don't ever have anything to tell him? I'm a very paranoid and insecure person due 2 previous relationships (my first boyfriend sexually abused me when I was only 14 and the only other 2 abused me mentally and physically). I don't want us to end because I think we are really good together when things are working. I just wonder if there's anything I can do to help fix things? I'v been so down lately that its been making me sick. I just don't know what to do any more, I love him so much and I don't want to lose him.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

As much as this sounds easy, it's not.

But, you really have to realise that your "not" living... Your just going through the motions of life.

With past relationships, you've been dealt with an un-fortunate hand and I am sorry for what you have gone through but YOU can change that and you have. This time, you've found someone who is not abusing you, but is very out-spoken and non-communicative. He should not tell you "your boring", rather, help you make friends, guide you, stand by you, be supportive and make you BELIEVE in yourself and consequently start "getting a life" including work.

So, maybe you feel you love him because you also "need" someone in your life, as you have nothing else to look forward to, maybe you go out with people for exactly that reason as well instead of being selective.

But, what you have to realise is if your "not living" then it's hard to live with you if they are "living".

It's time to make friends, get out there and have goals, a plan and share that with this guy and tell him that you realise you've got yourself into a rut.

7 Months ... Who are his friends? Why aren't you going out with couples and getting to know others?

That would and should have been the first start. Maybe he only has "male friends"..

Volunteer somewhere, so you get used to working. So you have something to talk about. So you have a life.

Look at what you think you'd like to be and see if you can do an on-line course and talk about that.

Get some excitement happening in your life.

CW

[BabyGirl]

Hi , You don't say your age or his ?

But there are several things you can do to be less " Boring" as he says.

Since you do not work yet. You can always Volunteer somewhere, Food banks, Soup Kitchens ,Librarys, Teacher Aid at schools. Church groups, Humane Societys, Phone Help lines or you can apply for a FASA Grant ( if in the USA) and go to a 2 year or 4 year College . If you Graduated High School and excelled in a subject you can Volunteer as a Tutor or even charge a minimal fee.

Do you have any Interests or Hobbies ? If so there are many Groups that you can Join, usually for free or a small fee and do group activities. If you get out of the house a few times a week and associate with others , even if in a small way, You will soon have something to talk about. Meaning YOUR DAY !!! and what you Learned or What you Did.

Remember to ask him about his and Share things that are in common, like feelings.

Things Like he says " Dayum this guy cut me off on the freeway " You can Say " Oh honey, thats not Good, What did you do ? Or I had that happen once and This is what I felt or Did about it "

**** NOTE **** If he's just tired and doesn't like to talk alot after work, Have his favorite Beverage Chilled and Ready, help him off with his shoes or clothes , offer him a snack or a back or foot rub. Don't talk about the Day or ramrod your day down his throat, give him time to relax,unwind and then he will be willing to talk and later.

For the "Personal Bedroom" thing. You have the Internet, so Google or Bing about how to Spice up your sex life, you can learn to make a romantic Dinner or an " Day Or Night Date" Special... These things aren't expensive ( Usually) you just have to be " Creative ".

I don't know your finacial situation, but there are so many things that can Spark or Re~Spark the Bedroom Loving.

What does he have as a hobby or enjoy ? Again you have the Internet, Search the things he likes ( even if you don't like them ) Study about them, learn about them. And then surprise him with your Knowlege of things he likes.

Let us know a little more if you can ?

[Georgey]

I'm 18 and he's 21

I am hoping to be going back to college when the new term starts as I already have some qualifications but not enough to do the job that im looking to do.

I don't really have any hobbies apart from shopping and socialising, but i need money and friends for both of those things lol.

Our sex life never used to be so boring, we are very comfortable with each other sexually and we are both willing to try new things but it seems to me that we'v tried pretty much all we can, I'v googled things out of interest but nothing new really came up... unless I tried to initiate things that we aint done for a while or seemed to have forgotten about?

He loves his car and other fast cars, I try to get involved with all that but he kinda shuts me out from it a bit.

I know that eventually we will be back on track, he says he loves me and he wants to be with me, it was only a little while ago he told me that he wants to marry me... surely those feelings wont just go away after such little time?

[PetitePrincess1]

To start with, a long daily exercise routine will benefit - it creates happy endorphins and it will improve the sex life. You'll find that you become this vivacious girl full of energy and he will notice it immediately.

Experiment with different cooking recipes......they say a way to the mans heart is through his stomach - coming home to some awesome meal once a week can't hurt - but don't revolve your life around him - you need to try and have your own life as much as you possibly can right now.

Offer to babysit people's children, walk old people's dogs, any other voluntary stuff - they are all so good for the soul and will put a smile on your face etc

Check out meetup websites there are PLENTY of groups that meet up on a regular basis - they are usually full of people who are looking to make new friends too.