[Ontheside]

The hardest thing I've done since becoming a mistress was to step aside completely. Due to my man's wife having a stroke, I encouraged him to reconcile with her. His kids needed it and she needed it to help her recover. No matter how much I love him, she is the mother of his children, and they need both parents. Something else I did, she has a passionate love of a certain celebrity. To help him give her hope and encouragement, I pursued obtaining some rare collectible items from that celebrity and sent them to him so that he could give them to her. Word came back to me thru mutual friends that the items really helped and she is doing better than the doctors anticipated. Maybe that was to appease my guilt, or maybe it was a way for me to anonomously send an apology for what I've done, regardlessit helped her and that's what matters.

[WildChild]

Now take that caring good side of you and find someone who is free to appreiciate it.

[Ontheside]

Thanks for the advice, but it's easier said than done.

[BabyGirl]

On The Side, I feel for you. I'm in the same boat, recently being an Ex Mistress.

I can't say it gets easier ( yet ) as the Love you have for him , if it was real, doesn't just go away in a few days. when I came here and asked for advise, I saw how many people read my Thread, but only a handful posted suggestions or asked questions or offered helpful solutions.

Your Stepping Aside is Admirable, it is the right thing to do.. Even if it hurts. Eventually, had you continued the affair, you would have been found out and it would have hurt alot more people. and who's to say he wouldn't have ended up resenting you for the pain to his other Loved ones that would have transpired had it been found out ?

In my case, he said he told his wife we kissed a few times and asked for her forgiveness. I'm not even sure this is the truth ? I know what is truth, that his " Claimed " love for me was not the all being love he proffessed... If it was , we would be together.

What you did to help her feel better, the gifts of her Favorite Celebrity, showed Compassion and yes maybe a bit of helping you feel less Guilt. I also tried to relieve my Guilt by writting him an Apology letter ( for a few kisses ) that he could show to his wife, so she would forgive him his transgressions.

Doing that helped a little, as I felt it proved how much I loved him and that I was not a home wrecker.When you truly love someone you want them to be happy. But it is their decision on who and what makes them happy or less happy.

We, you and I gave up what we thought would make us happy in order to let the ones we love be happy. And Trust Me , they aren't really happy or they would never had been with us in the first place. I don't know how firm you are with this break-up ? Me, I had to be firm as I can't be just friends with him after all we went through.

Be Strong, Move On.. Someday you will find the one that you can be with that makes you BOTH Happy, without shame or guilt..