[stacylyn]

My boyfriend is very jelous and controlling, however he has what i consider a very inapropriate relationship with his ex wife. he has cheated on me befor with her while they were seperated arguing that he didnt want to loose his house. he lies to me about talking to her and says their just friends. she texts him messages like: "i guess , if you dont spend all your time with stacy." still not sure what that is about... and yes iv had to spend christmas with her at his familys house, as well last summer they were visiting and i stayed home so he could spend time with the family and i wouldnt make things weird. this year i have moved our daughter my sons and my self out, to start over alone, he assured me she was not going to be at our house and now she is spending the week there with him and there two kids who are 22 and 25. he even refuses to write on his facebook we are together because he dosent want to upset them? really?! does anyone have some input.. i feel like im on mars right now?

[jns]

You should have quit this relationship a while ago. I think if he and his ex could work out their issues, they would be together in a heartbeat. There is a relationship out there for you which will be loving and not have this drama and deception.

[stacylyn]

Thank you jns, that is so sweet. Its good to know its not just me! lol

[BasketCase]

Dump this Dude!!
You have already given more than enough reasons:
*My boyfriend is very jelous and controlling
*inapropriate relationship with his ex wife
*he has cheated on me before
*he even refuses to write on his facebook we are together
*she is spending the week there with him

This guy is bad news. Have you considered that he is trying to push you out?? It seems to me that he has no interest in keeping you. Do you want your boys to see the way he treats you? Now way. I can't beleive that man has so little respect for his child and the mothers of his children. Because he treats the other mother of his kids just as bad as you. He probably told her he loved her but couldn't get away from you. I hate to see situations like this and I am sorry you are going through this. I am proud of you that you moved out. And got your children out of that. But I think it's time to let him go. He's obviously made his choice.

[BasketCase]

I watched my mother go through a similar suituation growing up and it really is not a good enviroment for kids.

[stacylyn]

Thanks BC! yeah im trying. its hard to let someone you have had feeling for go but im feeling more and more everyday that i made the right choice. sigh... im so glad im not alone in this.
love 2 u

[WildChild]

Change can be hard, but sounds like staying would be harder. Hang in there, one day you will look back and wonder how you could have ever stayed.

[sourpuss]

You have a child together and he won't admit that you two are a couple? Did I read that right?

[Hopeless Dork]

You are just caught up into much of his mess to be happy in that relationship. He has proved that he is not done with that... he's not moving on...his kids are adults, they can handle him seeing someone new.

I think the facebook thing has more to do with his ex wife and her perceptions and keeping it blank allows him to spin whatever stories to her and you simeltanious with none being the wiser.

He is jealous and controlling of you ... which would be something you could almost try to help him work out if it weren't for the cheating and the fact he's staying sometimes with his ex.

I know your heart has been swept up with this guy... and that is something really hard to let go of. If there were any light in the tunnel I'd understand you holding on... but at this point its just so messy and bleak. He has so much to work out before he can even begin to be the man you deserve. Meanwhile, time's a wastin'... and you are passing up opportunities to be with men that you could be out enjoying holidays with, holding each other in front of the tv... and not having random crazy exes in the bushes with binaculaurs.

You deserve to feel secure and happy, to feel like the only one... this guy can't make you feel like that, you are right to let him go.

[lustinlove]

u need to get away from him i know what ur going thru to some extent cause he is over controoling and he must always know what im doing he is also mentaly abusive...i am just at the point to leave him the only reasion i dont it cause i am proving him wrong that i am going to loose weight and such and when i get to my goal weight and if he dose not chance then i will leave him and be happy cause right now i need to be happy.