[ricky85]

Short synopsis.
My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago, we dated for almost 15 months. Our last contact was 3 weeks ago and it wasn't pretty. She cared deeply for me, bought me a lot of things for my apartment, saying one day we can buy things for our place just weeks before our split. She then had dreams that i would meet someone new, and things of that nature in the week or two preceding our split.
We had plans that I would go to her family reunion, I live pretty far away, and I was upset and tired that morning, knowing I would be in town the following weekend I said I wasn't coming. She was upset and seemed to grow distant. Within a few days she broke up with me.

She had always remained friends with her exes. I recently sent her a friendly email. Told her she was in a dream, I'm enjoying meeting new people, Asking how she was, and why I had to block her for a while on fb. Kept it light. Well she hasn't responded, maybe she hasn't been on?

Why wouldn't she respond, if she cared so much before, and she is friends with most of her exes?

Anything I need to add?

[Mes T]

But do you know how long she waited to be friends with her exs after breaking up? And has she had exs who were as serious and long-term as you?

It's possible that she's just not ready yet to be friends. I mean you've been together almost a year and a half, and split a mere month ago. That's not enough time to recover from splitting from someone you were serious about.

[LanaBear]

I agree with Mes... I'm thinking she may still need some time to come to terms with you two just being friends again. Even if you did end on a good note, it's a change and change takes time.

Be patient with it. It may happen, it may not.

[ricky85]

Thanks, you may be right. I'm not sure, how long it took them to be friends. I know I wasn't happy when I was with her, was even less happy when I split. I thought I would get over within a few weeks, the few girls I met made her memory go away. One had her ex return who she still loved, (ironic) and the other sends mixed signals, I don't know where I stand literally day to day.
There was no closure with my ex to speak of. A month later, I still feel pretty bad. Food has taste again, I did drop 15 pounds though! I don't know if I want closure, to be friends or more. It's weird, I was the one who was dumped, yet I feel guilty.
She may still be upset because she had future plans, and I ruined them.

Or simply she may not have checked her email. It has only been 10 hours, and there are no signs she was even on.

[Mes T]

Ah. I think getting some closure would definitely be a priority at this point... When she does respond, have a nice talk about what you're feeling (not bringing up wanting to be friends, just focusing on discussing what really happened in your break up). Try not to be too expectant of a response - 10 hours is not long, she could have been out, or she could just be thinking of how best to respond.

Also, to anyone in your situation, I would suggest not dating until you're absolutely over your ex. Firstly it's not fair to the girls you're with, and your lack of closure will inevitably manifest in some way in your new relationships.

And lastly, the more you date while still hung up/confused about your ex, the longer and harder the process of closure will be. It's so true.

[ricky85]

Yes, I would definitely like closure, my last memory was several emails trying to one-up each other on who cared less 3 weeks ago.

I would choose how to respond carefully, as well. She did visit my profile on a dating site we both joined together to take tests, a couple weeks ago so I know I am still in her thoughts.

I agree with one girl, I acted to her as did to my ex, wanting badly for an intimate relationship again. Talking everyday after 3 dates? lol

I don't think I can move on without a calm conversation, not what we did before. I hope I won't have to.

[ricky85]

Thanks for your advice, here is the email I sent.

Noticed you were on okcupid a while back. I blocked you because it seemed obvious where our emails were heading. I’m sure they would have gotten nastier. Anyway, you were in a weird dream the other night, decided to send you an email.

3 break ups in 6 months, what a rough ride. It has been nice going out and meeting new people, something I didn’t really do before. This still feels a bit awkward but how are you? I hope there isn’t still any resentment between us.

[rcoreyus]

Emails sometimes do get lost or accidentally deleted. I'd never attach too much importance to a single missed email.

[ricky85]

Yeah, Facebook is pretty reliable though. If in fact that is what happened it would be the first out of many emails sent between us.

[Darling]

Well if she was serious about you and hoped for you to feel the same for her, it will take a good long time to let it go and simply "email" again. Sometimes During the break up emails can be the worst. During mine it literally made my heart drop. most likely she is trying to forget about the bad and push away the good as well. trying to convince her self that she will be able to have a life that doesn't start with you or end with you. Sometimes your simple email can jolt all those emotions and undo all the work she has already done to cope with the breakup. Also, you blocked her, that probably left a hard pain in her heart, dont expect her to come running to you she left you. she has no reason to reply back to you until or if she wants to.