[Matt_]

Hi I need some advice from you ladies and gents I am really Shy and its inhibiting my life to a point where i can barely talk to people that aren't my close friends and as a result i haven't had a girlfriend in over 2 years, which is making me feel really lonely, all my close friends are in really good relationships and im feeling left out which is resulting in depression to a point where i can barely deal with everyday life. as this depression gets worse i feel more reclusive and want to shut myself in. and the only thing i really do now when i do go out side is i longboard and that's about it well besides work that is. i'am posting here because i feel women will give better ( and more logical) answers to my problem rather than men. hopefully I'am posting in the right section too.

A Little Background knowledge.
I just Graduated High school and live on my own as of june. I have always been shy but never this bad. and the only reason im bringing this up now is because since im living on my own and feeling lonely i feel like i need to better myself so i have been taking steps to try and rid myself of bad aspects of my personality and improve my self respect.

Anything Will help

[Calicorado83]

Wow, just moved into your new place. What fun. What a fresh new start. New starts are always good, which means you can make changes much more easily. I was very shy too growing up and only had one close friend in my class. I didn't talk to ANYBODY. But when I moved out, I made a change. I met people in my area by putting myself in places where people were. I started dating my neighbor, and he was so funny! I appreciated what people would give to me if I would let them. Just being able to meet a new personality and a different outlook was adventurous. I always reminded myself, "I've never met this person before, so they have no idea how shy I USED TO BE." I could be a different person with everyone I met. A changed person. A not shy person with lots of friends. I watched a movie one time and I'll insert a quote because it was something I always remembered when I stood next to someone in line at the convenience store.

"Hey. Could we do that again? I know we haven't met, but I don't want to be an ant. You know? I mean, it's like we go through life with our antennas bouncing off one another, continously on ant autopilot, with nothing really human required of us. Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there. All action basically for survival. All communication simply to keep this ant colony buzzing along in an efficient, polite manner. "Here's your change." "Paper or plastic?' "Credit or debit?" "You want ketchup with that?" I don't want a straw. I want real human moments. I want to see you. I want you to see me. I don't want to give that up. I don't want to be ant, you know?"

We need to quit living our lives looking down at our feet and let others just pass us by. And we walk with our heads down for a number of reasons. Shyness, sadness, loneliness, embarrassment, business, whatever...remember that you are missing out when you do that. And people don't bite. If you've never met them before and the confrontation doesn't quite work out, well then, you probably won't ever see them again and you can continue to try and be someone elses friend. Onward little tomato!

[Gregs Baby]

it is really hard to meet new people to some people id know im kinda the same way but just in school its because maybe worring that someone wont like you?. im kinda that way. i try and make jokes with some people or ask any kind of questions that you could think of. or maybe if you liked a girl just ask her out. and if she says yes on the date tell her that day you are really shy maybe shed be the same way or try and help you out with your shyness.