[emm92]

Me & my boyfriend have been together for just over a year now. He is my first BF & I love him!! And he loves me Everything is great, whenever we hang out its always lots of laughs and a good time!

We have been taking it pretty slow with the sexual side of the relationship, just coz i am in no rush pretty much! He is fine with this and agreed that he will wait until im ready to take the next step (we are both virgins btw)

Anywho, lately i feel that something is missing & its driving me nuts!! Whenever we make out/get intimate my mind is always wondering off, im always tired, i feel that we are kissing, but not kissing! Like something is missing! And i feel like my "sex drive" is not there Its making me feel so guilty because i love him so much and want to enjoy this, but im really not. It was never like this before.

Im so confuzzled :s I dont know what to do!

Help?

[LanaBear]

Do you feel any sexual attraction towards him at all? How old are the two of you?

[stressed]

Do you miss him when he's away? Do you think about him often? Do you masturbate thinking about him? (maybe an odd question, but it would show whether you find him attractive or not). Do you repeat the same activities every time? It also depends on your age, as hormones go up and down up until you turn 19-20.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Routine? Same, old.. Same old... you've gotten into a pattern as your intimate, but both still Virgins.. Kissing is kissing, where as with sex, it only becomes routine, if done the same way everytime, otherwise, there's exploration, time offers more intimacy, therefore, stronger reactions, feelings and off course, adventure...

Maybe there needs to be more hugging, intimate touching on the face, arm, not just sexual...

CW

[emm92]

Do you miss him when he's away? Do you think about him often? Do you masturbate thinking about him? (maybe an odd question, but it would show whether you find him attractive or not). Do you repeat the same activities every time? It also depends on your age, as hormones go up and down up until you turn 19-20.

Yes, yes, yes & yes same activites every time. And we are always hugging and cuddling up. I do feel sexualy attracted to him, but then other times i don't. We are both 17

[prawnprincess]

First, I'm proud of you for taking things slow. Do you have hobbies or interests you can pursue on your own? I think when you have a lot going on outside your relationship, when you're learning and growing as your own person, you can connect better with others. If you are both involved in interesting things in your time apart, you'll have more to share when you're together. Sometimes it's tempting to spend most free time with a boyfriend, but I think that can be what leads to a rut. Spending time with your girlfriends, trying new things, exploring new places, and volunteering are all good ways to stay alive! The only proof of life is growing (like your cells are growing right now), and anything that is not growing is dead.

[emm92]

Thankyou prawnprincess Yes i do have my own hobbies etc. I own my own horse and spend most afternoons out there, every day, riding or not. I'v been out with the girls to a movie this week too!
But im still in school, so i see him every day of the week, besides after school lol We dont really do the whole public affection thing. Only holding hands. But when we do get some time alone together, like once a week pretty much, im always feeling what a described in first post, and we usually end up arguing lots

[prawnprincess]

Well if you are feeling like something is missing, then it seems like something needs to change. Do you think maybe you could take a break? Just an idea. Because it isn't fun to be snuggly or kiss someone when you don't feel like it. And it probably isn't fun to be around each other when you just end up arguing. Do you have any other ideas?

[emm92]

No i dont have any ideas.. Iv thought of that but i dont think i would have the heart to do that haha

I saw him today and we had a good time Its just when we try get all kissy, kissy & i don't want to is when the arguing starts..

[jns]

Do you just kiss each other on the mouth or do you kiss a lot of other places? Neck, ears, cheeks, foreheads, shoulders, etc.? Massages? Exploring each others bodies within bounds? Checking every inch of flesh? What do you argue about?