[justlikeheaven]

When you didn't talk with him did you feel like your heart was being ripped out?

Honestly, when i'm not talking to him my heart starts beating weird (i have anxiety problems) and when i don't know what he's doing i just feel empty. Its a very strange feeling i can't quite explain without sounding like a psycho lol but i've never felt this before.

[Hopeless Dork]

I don't think you need to express your feelings any more than you already have until he does... he obviously knows already that you want a relationship -- from the way that you said he told you "in time" , it sounds like he knew you were expecting one and so told you that.

Please please please don't sell yourself short because of your ex, he sounds like he was a jerk and your lucky to be free of him. It sounds like you are way to impressed with the fact this guy is able to see past your body size to the real you... theres so much to you, that you should KNOW you deserve this man's attention... don't allow yourself to feel like you owe him something because he is looking past what your ex wouldn't.

If he treats you with respect, you have a good thing. You don't need to give him the world, just your time and your heart. You shouldn't be buying him cigs, or doing things like that for you... you set up a situation where a guy could take advantage of your kind ways. Not saying he is doing that... just saying its something you need to get a handle on. Even a man that is not out to use you, can start to , if he thinks that is what makes you happy.

You mention not knowing where he is.... after 8 months of dating... why doesn't he tell you where he goes? Its not that you are his parole officer, but you should have some idea of what he is doing in his time away from you.

Do you know his friends / family / co-workers? What does he introduce you as to them? Does he say "my friend"? " this is (your name)" ? or does he say girlfriend? Does he contact you out of the blue just to see how you are doing, or let you know he was thinking about you ? (don't worry if he doesn't... not all guys, even ones that are in love , do this)

Does he take you out? Does he hold your hand and make you feel special? There are some little clues guys leave for how serious they are taking the relationship:

Becoming concerned for your well-being.. walking you to your door, or to the car, having you call once you've gotten home safely from work if its late at night... etc, asking you if you've eaten yet, if you are cold or hot, etc... trying to make sure you are always comfortable around them.

Introducing you to people they care about... friends/family/co-workers etc... whether they say "girlfriend" or not, bringing you around the people that matter to them is a good clue you matter as well.

Not all guys are good with words, not all tell you sweet words or how much you mean, not all show it physically, it just depends on the guy and the way he expresses himself. From everything you've said here you've made it clear to him that you are into him, you might want to let him make it clear to you before making any heartfelt plea's for wanting him to verbalize where he sees your relationship.

[justlikeheaven]

You mention not knowing where he is.... after 8 months of dating... why doesn't he tell you where he goes? Its not that you are his parole officer, but you should have some idea of what he is doing in his time away from you.

Do you know his friends / family / co-workers? What does he introduce you as to them? Does he say "my friend"? " this is (your name)" ? or does he say girlfriend? Does he contact you out of the blue just to see how you are doing, or let you know he was thinking about you ? (don't worry if he doesn't... not all guys, even ones that are in love , do this)

Becoming concerned for your well-being.. walking you to your door, or to the car, having you call once you've gotten home safely from work if its late at night... etc, asking you if you've eaten yet, if you are cold or hot, etc... trying to make sure you are always comfortable around them.

I usually know where he is, but sometimes he won't say anything unless i ask. he's usually out with his closest guy friend, or doing something with his car (he's a car guy)

All of his friends, are my friends. I live in a small town, and we all hang out together so they all know me, and they're all aware of our "relationship" I've only met his mother and sister (he doesn't have a big family) and he introduced me as "this is ____" And he doesn't contact me out of the blue mainly because we're always texting. And once in a while he'll tell me he's thinking about me.

When we spend alone time together, we usually stay in and cuddle, watch a movie, and just enjoy eachothers company. He'll hold me and squeeze me tight and reach for my hand to hold while cuddling. And whenever we part, he'll tell me to text him when i get home and when we say goodnight and usually put a heart. He does call me babe and other stuff like that but only when we're alone.

[Hopeless Dork]

From everything you just said it sounds like you guys DO have a relationship... even if it doesn't have a "label". A good way to lead into exclusivity questions is if you are sleeping together... ask him if he is sleeping with or planning to sleep with anyone else. Its a fair question to have the answer to when you are sexually active with someone, for protection purposes. Another thing is asking him if he is happy with what you guys have together, is he actively seeking making connections with others, or if he is content with what you guys have.

Neither of those is asking him to commit, to label your relationship or to be any more exclusive than he is.. its simply finding out where his head is at when it comes to you guys, and getting reassurance on sexual exclusivity.

Me and my boyfriend never had a 'are you my girlfriend/boyfriend, what is this?' talk... we were dating and over time, over the course of several months just spent more and more time together, got to know each other better... as soon as we started having sex, the exclusivity question was asked and answered and then later the 'are you looking? or have you found it?' conversation was had... once we knew we were sexually exclusive, once we knew each other wasn't seeking others... we both grew even more comfy and then one day he introduced me as his gf (i had already met all his friends and family but had not heard him verbalize a title for me)

I think most relationships have to be grown into... some happen in a weekend and some take months even years to get to the point where there is tidy box to put what it is in... and sometimes it stays unclear "it's complicated" status.

As long as he makes you happy, makes you feel special, as long as you have him when you need him to be there for you and its not all on his terms only then what you have is a really good thing and nature will take its course if you are both feeling it, then it will become more serious.

[justlikeheaven]

You know what, this makes a lot of sense i already know for sure i'm the only one he's sleeping with, and i know he's happy with what we have. So i guess in time it will become an even more public relationship and as you said, nature will take its course thank you so much