[pinknfwuffy]

I call it a "casual relationship" but really, the term most would probably associate with it is "friends-with-benefits". I avoid the phrase because it sounds kind of cheap and overlooks the fact that this person and I actually share a lot in common, enjoy one other's company, and are exclusive with one another sans labels.

With that out of the way, he and I have been "seeing" each other fairly regularly for the past eight months. I have a pretty flexible schedule but his work keeps him very busy, so any time he needed to work later than usual or travel home to see his family out of state, he would let me know ahead of time. No problem.

Unfortunately, his work has hit a high peak and a close family member is facing a medical crisis that has been looming for months. While I understand and competely sympathize, he has been quiet to the point of silence for the past two weeks. Not even a text to say he was going to be busy. I sent a text just to let him know I was here for him as a friend and he could call if he needed to talk, but his only reponse was that he was busy and "probably wouldn't be able to call".

I know this is the usual "girl" thing, to worry when you don't hear from the guy you're seeing (casual or not), but I'm worried. I've sent an e-mail with a few words of support for his current family issue, but am I over-thinking this? I am fine with his needing to take a break and deal with life issues, even if it means no communication at all, but I want to be sure it wasn't anything I did to cause it.

If it is "just the guy thing" to be quiet during a stressful time, any suggestions as to how I can be supportive from a distance without looking insane? I care about him a lot, but know I shouldn't be overbearing. Help, please?

[mr.mansview]

you sent a text telling him you are there for him..leave it at that..some men (myself included) like to deal with my problems my way..he'll come back to you when he is ready

[WildChild]

you sent a text telling him you are there for him..leave it at that..some men (myself included) like to deal with my problems my way..he'll come back to you when he is ready

Or when he's horny.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

but I want to be sure it wasn't anything I did to cause it.

If he's a "true" friends, forget the benefits, then he will not care if you said or did anything...

You are viewing this as a relationship and eager to know it's "ok" you two are okay.. I understand that, but that is the problem with "casual relationships, or friends with benefits" emotions get involved and you do commit...

Please for your own sanity, believe what you are saying, it doesn't matter he's only a casual relationship, as a friend, I have said I am there if he needs me, that's all I can do... and get on with your life for now.

I'm more concerned of your statement I highlighted, as that indicates to me, you have strong feelings for him and don't want to lose him and are sitting back waiting for that acknowledgement so you know your safe...

That's not what casual is all about.. remember sweet, keep your life going along, if you have fallen to hard for him, maybe it's time to really evaluate...

And, any further text messages or emails is going to make him realise, he will read between the lines.

CW

[pinknfwuffy]

Thanks for your advice and reponses.

I am going to just do my own thing for a while and if he contacts me, he contacts me. I do realize I care for him more than just "friends with benefits". That is why I made the comment at the beginning that I didn't like that label because it indicates something more casual with lack of strong personal feelings. We've talked about it in the past and recognized that we were more than friends but not dating, because for certain reasons we both acknolwedge that would never work. We said when one of us was ready to end it, we both would be vocal and honest about it. I guess I just thought this silence was a hint of his disinterest. I can deal with his wanting to be done, but only by hearing it directly and not just unsure silence.

Again, thanks. If he needs to deal with personal problems, so be it. I'm not giving anymore until I hear from him (if at all).

[mr.mansview]

Originally Posted by dr.mansview
you sent a text telling him you are there for him..leave it at that..some men (myself included) like to deal with my problems my way..he'll come back to you when he is ready




Or when he's horny.

ha ha..quit reading between the lines WC..lol