[TheBeatles]

I love my boyfriend, but he told me earlier today that I'm gaining weight.
I want to make him happy, so I'm going to lose the weight, but do you think him telling me this will have a negative effect on our relationship?

[rcoreyus]

If your weight is unhealthy (as judged by BMI) maybe he has your best interests at heart. If he just doesn't like you being heavier, then I think this is a very negative action.

[Hopeless Dork]

Is he this harsh with your feelings on other things? For men out there considering telling their significant others that they are gaining weight... keep in mind that the way you approach it can have the opposite result you hope for.

You want your significant other to lose weight? Lead by example, eat healther, bring in healthier groceries and start preparing low-calorie low cal foods, suggest taking walks together, or taking a dance class together, starting biking... 1, it will bring you closer, getting to spend time together and 2... it will get your partner active and weightloss will follow.

Making someone feel bad about their weight can lead them to overreat even more, drop their self esteem etc.

A man, even if skinny, sitting around on his but eating donuts yelling out to his wife, hey you need to lose some weight... is never going to have a good result. Support, encouragment, and making it easy on your partner by participating in getting healthy will yeild the best results.

Work on getting healthy because its what you want to do, don't do it just because he wants you to. It can build resentment. Do you think he is concerned for your health? Are you obese? Or are you 10 pounds heavier and he's just knit picking?

If its the latter, does he find other things to pick at you for or is this the first and only thing?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You say your gaining wait... Maybe he is concerned?

Only you can judge whether he is working towards, helping you or judging you.

CW

[BabyGirl]

To me it depends on how he said it ? Did he say " Honey, Baby " along with the weight complaint , or "Dang, Gosh, " or just come out with " youre getting Fat or Gaining weight "?

As the others commented, was it out of concern of your health ? Are you concerned about your weight or size ? Whether too large or too thin, too tall or too wide ( in others opinions) ...

Your Dr is the one to see and ask a professional what is healthy for your body structure. If possible go see your Dr. get a true weight and BMI number, full heath check up, to determine if your Blood Pressure, Heart Rate, Thyroid, Glucose levels are within a normal range for your Body type .

Then follow their directions or reccomendations to become healthier if they deem you should do something to enhance your wellbeing. After seeing the Dr. sit down with boyfriend and explain whatever the Dr said. If per chance the Dr. did say you were overweight for your health.

Sweetly thank your BF for caring so much about your Health. Ask him to support you in the new regime the Dr. gave you. This may include new foods, joining a gym, exercise with him like more outdoor/indoor activities.

Be sure and let him know that if you go on a " Calorie Intake/Burn diet " that you can burn up to 300 calories per hour by having sex.......an exercise that activates all of the body's muscle groups. While sex is not recommended as a replacement for regular exercise, health experts report that an active sex life is good for your emotional and physical health.

Also remember that there are many Emotional, Physical and Medical reasons or causes that we are not the " Reccomended BMI" that is published in some Countries.

For Example
I am 5 ft. 7 inches. Supposed to weigh about 140-145 lbs ( Pounds ) As per the USA BMI.. Sorry... Can't remeber the English/ Eropean stone weight lol.

Anyway, even thru 4 pregnancies and natural births of those 4 children, The maximum weight I have ever been is 134 lbs.. Fully pregnant at Delivery.

In May of 2009... I and my 2 adult children had the Swine Flu. I went from my average 125lbs to 104lbs in 14 days....

Now, 15 months later I am gratefully at 119lbs. It is as hard work to gain weight as it is to lose it. Especially when Diet Restricted due to Glucose or Heart or Blood Pressure issues. In my mind I have 6 more pounds to gain to be Healthy as I was last year, But I still have 25 plus lbs to gain if I ever want to be in the " Normal Weight " statistics..

So just be happy with who you are.. Don't Change for anyone other than yourself. I am sure that your BF has a thing or two that may need Adjusting. Try and work on those issues together .

[caterpillar79]

Whether it's because he's concerned or not, what matters is that you should only do something if you feel like it, not because somebody told you to.

If you think that him pointing out that you're gaining weight is true, then, try to lose weight because YOU wanted to be healthier and in better shape FOR YOU not for him.

[Tiptopshape]

Whether it's because he's concerned or not, what matters is that you should only do something if you feel like it, not because somebody told you to.

If you think that him pointing out that you're gaining weight is true, then, try to lose weight because YOU wanted to be healthier and in better shape FOR YOU not for him.

I definitely agree. It's up to you to go with trying to lose weight though. It is your body afterall.