[nubianqueen]

Hello WH! it's been a while.....so much has happened since I was last here.....First of all, just wanted to let you know that me and my bf ended things for good this time several weeks ago. Honestly, I've never felt so liberated....I feel bad for feeling this way, but it's just that we had so many issues that resulted from one person being miserable in the relationship. In return, both of us were miserable, and there was no turning back at that point. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders now, but it's still a very hard thing to get over......5 years of being with the same person, and all of a sudden, we're no longer involved in each other's lives. I was very, very distraught when we officially to break up....didnt wanna get out of bed, didnt wanna go outside....Over time, things slowly started to get better (hey, I wasnt crying everyday, several times a day anymore) For me, the thing I miss the most about him is the companionship and the security of knowing that I have somebody.....I do have periods of loneliness, especially when most of my friends are either married or in serious relationships. Any pointers as to what can I do to help ease the loneliness??


Come to find out, many of the people closest to me came to me and said they're happy that I'm no longer in that situation because they knew it was not good for me. I was stressed all the time, and they said they wanted me to experience what a healthy relationship should be like, with the right guy.

I guess my question now is, how do I get back out there and start dating again?? (and when is an appropriate time to do so?) The thought of playing the scene scares the heck outta me!! Especially since it's been sooooo long since I last did that!! I have a hard time trusting men and what they say, especially since the few that I've come across so far weren't talking about anything interesting anyway!

[stressed]

Don't think about it. It will happen by itself

[Ashlee T.]

I would suggest try to change your focus. Look at it as now a time to rebuild a new and improved you. Yes, you're feeling lonely sometimes.....you're only human. But the loneliness is a result of something in you......not a result of the ended relationship and it's not something any man can fix. All a man will do is bandaid it. So pick up a good book (I recommend Eat Pray Love for ALL women), fix you something good to drink, and start learning about yourself. Once you figure out you, you'll figure out the loneliness, and you'll watch it disappear.

Congrats on getting out of an unhealthy situation for you. Cheers to new beginnings.

[lala82]

I am in a similar situation. My ex broke up with me of weeks ago. He sent me 3 e-mails that I did not reply. I blocked and deleted him from facebook, msn, and skype. The day that i split up I cried and I read a book about unhealthy relationships, which help me a lot.

It is strange but I have not cried a lot. In fact I feel happy and very optimistic. I have spent more time with friends and doing things that I love to do. Sometimes I think about him and remember the good things that we live together. However, I am sure that the break was the best for me. I feel better now than when I was with him.

I will advice you to take time for you. Take advantage of this time to meet your friends, and do the activities that you love to do. Do not rush to meet new people if you think that you are not ready. However, keep positive; there are plenty of good men in this world.

Good luck and keep strong with your decision