[Ashlee T.]

I think longing for passion, love and closeness is normal. I think even the people in the world that just can't make it work with anyone and are happier alone, still at times must long for that closeness. It's part of being human.

Not being able to be a happy whole person without that? Not a good thing. Its about being happy with who you are, being confident in yourself, and finding someone who is also in that same category to SHARE that with. On the other hand, if you're a gloom bug (not saying YOU personally) who goes through the motions every day but feels incomplete and worthless because you don't have a man to come home to, then that means you are allowing your happiness to DEPEND on the presence of a lover.

Putting your happiness in the hands of someone else, is not only a recipe for disaster, but also ALOT of pressure on your lover.

So no, you're not wrong for wanting someone in your life. Needing someone to make you complete and happy is a different story.

I am single. I am complete, because I am where I am supposed to be, right now, this very second. Here are some things that make me truly happy:

Family, friends, my sweet doggie, working on house projects, painting, writing, listening to Pandora and discovering new artists and songs, sitting on the balcony with a glass of wine listening to nature, running, deep conversations with a good girlfriend, etc etc etc etc.

Now, when I find someone who can appreciate those things in me, and who has their own things they love and enjoy aside from me.... then WE will ENRICH (like HD said) each others lives. But we will not complete each other....because we are already whole.

[Amber]

I can see maybe the words completing you are not how to put it.

The way I look at it is I'm in my mid 30's, on my own, with my own full time job. I go to the gym or go to singles events, doing stuff like trivia, karoake, dining out, movies, listening to music, ect. I have friends but no close friends. You don't just go out and find close friends. You are either lucky to have them or you don't. My family is still in my life.

I can say I just moved out on my own but what I'm waiting for. I want to find my Mr. Right. I still don't know what is wrong with that. What more do I need in my life before I can say it is complete enough for a guy to enter it.

As I mentioned before, when I was my last boyfriend, I gave him his space. Saw him about twice a week. Didn't ask him about his every move. Still went out to single events. We emailed a lot but he was all for that as I was.

Then I wasn't out on my own but now I am. It is about a year since we broke up. He has moved on. I have only seen him three times since around May. Trying to be just friends but that turned into a joke.

Since then I have found myself falling for one guy, who turned out to be a huge lier. We didn't date or anything. We went out as "friends", alone a few times. Dated another guy once until I found out he had way too much baggage. Turns out my ex helped me survive those two guys. He gave me advise, as a friend. Now he is gone. I'm still on my own. Still working and going to single events. I want something more.

So once again I ask, what more do I need in my life to say it is complete enough to have a guy in it?

[Amber]

I think maybe I'm lonely because I don't have close friends. But you can't just pick those up at a store and you don't make those kind of friendships overnight. I have no idea what else to do to make myself happy. I feel like I'm missing that special guy in my life. What am I suppose to do, pick up 20 new hobbies? I have enough. That is not going to make me happy.

[Ashlee T.]

So once again I ask, what more do I need in my life to say it is complete enough to have a guy in it?

I think you're just over thinking it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to find Mr. Right. I think you're probably just taking something someone has said to you out of context. I don't think anyone here would tell you you're wrong for wanting to find your Mr. Right.

I think you're trying too hard. What if Mr. Right never comes? Will your life be a waste? I think not. So pick your chin up and don't get down in the dumps just because has hasn't found you yet. I'm sure you have a lot to offer to someone, and maybe the powers that be don't want you to settle for the wrong guy just because you want someone in your life. So maybe when you least expect it, when you're not looking, when you're not focused on finding someone....he'll walk right into your life.

[Ashlee T.]

But you can't just pick those up at a store and you don't make those kind of friendships overnight.

I also don't think I'd give up on good close friendships yet. I have friends I've had since 3rd grade. But I also have close friends that I've met in the past couple years. You're right, they don't happen overnight. But they do happen. Find common interests, asks for peoples email or phone numbers, start inviting them to do things, take the lead. That's how friendships are established and grow.

[Texinator]

I think maybe I'm lonely because I don't have close friends.

Hey, don't forget, at least you have us crazy sons of birches!

[millersm]

I realize this thread is old, and that I am a guy registered on a site for women, but I came across this and had something to say.

First off, I find it annoying that when I type in a question, all the results I get back are from the female point of view. The fact is, men go through the same things women do. Thus, the reason I am here.

Your question resonated with me because it's a way that I feel. I disagree with the responses you got and hate that the stigma that all men don't want a woman all the time. It's quite the opposite for me. I want a woman for all the same reasons you pointed out.

I'm not sure how your life has changed in the past three years, but I thought I'd share this.

If you would like to talk, text me at 615-603-1316.