[oncebitten]

my boyfreind used to be like that, but i think it was because he had self esteem issues and he felt like if i didn't want it it meant that i wasn't attracted to him, maybe its the same for him? If he's that sexually frustrated then tell him to jack-off? it seems like a logical solution because then you get to prepare yourself to actually be into it and he still gets stimulation.

Also, maybe you should switch birth control brands? Sometimes that helps.

As well, maybe you should introduce some more intersting sexual practices into the bedroom? Do you have any fantasies that you've been depriving yourself of?

And talk to him more about the issue. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. i cannot stress that fact. If you don't know exactly why he's hurting so much and if he doesn't know why you're hurting so much, the problem will just get wose. Also, if he can't realize that you both need to be in this together and he's only concentrating on -his- pleasure and not caring or understanding that you need him to be gentle and patient then out with him! A man who truly loves you will be a man about the situation. He won't act like a whiny teenager just trying to get off. He needs to care about YOU.

Hope that helps and goodluck!

[oncebitten]

hope these comments help!

[oncebitten]

tricky q as i dont want to sound all feminist lol well i can say this that yes,most if not all get grumpy if they go for days without it. its true ex's have all been grumpy by day 3 of no sex or rubbing there thigh on my leg like a dog to get my attention they want some, lol. because i have not been in the mood they make it sooo obvious,but i kept ignoring lol. yes men feel like sexis god and ive heard countless male friends say that is somthing women have over men, the release and feeling they get from sex is like a drug,the after effect of dozing off almost instantley and feeling relaxed.he must realy love this with you to wait 35hours for it,lol. i can agree with you that the pill does take your libido away i been on it for 5years and just went off it and still waiting for my 'libido' to reappear.you need to tell him to 'work' you up to it, he needs to respect your needs and desires in the bedroom.because just taking it and not enjoying it gets boring ,fast and makes it even harder to get into it. maybe show him these replys?? or get the back section on sex tips in a magazine and tape it to the wall near the toilet ,lol somewhere where he'll be sitting for a while lol. good luck with this, hope i didnt rave on to much

i disagree that all men think that - thats like saying all women are y when they PMS or that all asians can't drive. Its a convuluded stereotype that often gets blown of proportion, especially the media that depicts men as solely sexual beings. They are interested in other things too and some men don't want sex at all from anyone at anytime. People get sexually frustrated, both men and women, but men get thier frustration shoved in the lime light because that is what "we" expect of "stupid horny" men - - - and saying that only "they" get that "drug" effect is totally wrong, don't you feel calm and elated after sex too? I know I sure do. Also, I'm on the pill and im still the same amount of horny I always was - it effects different people differently.

[Allie602]

One thing that is important to consider is that for a man in love, sex takes on a different meaning. Sex is his way of feeling connected and accepted by the woman he loves. Men really do feel rejected and depressed when a woman they love reject them. They actually do feel like they are not attractive.

It seems strange that when a man is not in love, sex has no emotions but when he is in love, it's his way feel connected to and accepted by the woman he loves. That's why they seem sex crazed, they do get horny but, there is a real need for reassurance that their partner still loves them. It's like women needing frequent verbal reassurance from their man that he still loves her, men need sex to reassure them that they are still loved. Men are soooo strange. Some woman don't understand but both partners would be much happier if they understood each other.

I am not talking about sexually selfish men or men who are only loving when they want sex, or who don't care about the woman's pleasure. or a man who is not in love.

Of course men don't say that, they may not really understand themselves. And they probably don't want to seem like a wimps because that's not the attitude towards sex that men are supposed to have according to popular culture. So you have to take that dynamic into account and know that it really isn't just sex all the time. Makes it easy to keep him happy and feeling loved the way he needs, as long as he is doing the same for you.