[Becca_angel]

hey, well a few months ago i met this guy at my youth group.
he also happened to go to my school....
he's 14 and a half 15 in may 2011
and im 17.. 18 in april 2011
i really do like him, but i dont know if its wrong
i cant tell my mum she wouldnt approve
and he cant tell his cause they say he is too young for girlfriends...
he reazlly does make me happy...
and to be honest i have no idea what to do.....

x

[sourpuss]

I think if you were both in your 20s, it wouldn't be such a big deal. But since you are both so young, it may be a bit inappropriate. I think it would be a good idea to remain friends.

[BabyGirl]

When you say Boyfriend you are certainly meaning a " Boy " and you are a " Young Woman" As Not always, but most States have the Age of Consent law set at 16.

With you being 18 in April, you will then be an Adult and being anything but a Friend, will be illegal. Meaning any sex or hugging or sexual talking, ( communication with a minor * felony).

The point is that you are asking this question, is a sign that you do know what is appropiate or what is basically considered appropiate. Being that he is a young teen and his parents say he is too young to date. it is best you respect his parents right to chose the age that they will allow or determine he is mature enough to date.

He may be a Nice Guy, but you will be moving on after graduation, possibly to College and he will be mid High School.

Are you willing to tell your College Peers or Co~workers if you get a Job after H.S. Being 18 and an Adult ..
" I may be late or Sorry can't go out for coffee, ECT... I have to go pick up my 15 year old boyfriend from School" "

I am not trying to sound mean, but you will most likely mature faster than he will. Even if you tried to have a relationship, in 3 years you will be 21 and he 18, you will be able to go Party with friends, go on Spring Break, Get into Adult Dance Clubs, Gamble at Casino's.. Have a Glass of Wine at a Romantic Dinner..
But He Won't be able to.

Be a Great FRIEND to him, Do not Break his heart or Warp his Brain. Treat him like a Younger Brother or younger Cousin.. Respect him, help him do his best during School, Praise his Accomplishments.. Tell him that he should stay sweet and Likable as he is..

And should... in 3-5 years, You want to be 2 Adults that still have very deep feelings for each other that started when you were in High School a few grades apart .. Go For It.. May ~ December relationships work both ways..

Then again, if you have Sisters or Brothers.. Nieces, Nephews, Cousins. And a 15 year old wanted to date the 11, almost 12 year old ? Or the 13 year old wants to date the 9 ish year old .. And Dare to think a few years ahead on your own children that you may have ? Just throw in the 3 years and see if it will be appropiate to you as a Parent ? How would you feel about the Question you Posed .

[Lunar Keiki]

From a mother's persepctive, I think the age difference is too big for the phase of life you are currently in. I would have a cow if my son dated a girl that much older, just as I would if my daughter dated someone 3 years older. I'm thinking you are a senior on the verge of graduating and starting a whole new chapter in your life, whether it be college or entering the workforce. Do you really want to have a boyfriend who is only a sophomore in high school? It just isn't kosher IMO.

[Casey715]

With you being 18 in April, you will then be an Adult and being anything but a Friend, will be illegal. Meaning any sex or hugging or sexual talking, ( communication with a minor * felony).

Just to be honest here, hugging or sexual talking and communication with a minor is not a felony. Having any type of sexual interaction with a minor, while being considered an adult, is a criminal offense. Just wanted to clear that up.
To the OP, I must agree with the other post, too young. It would hold you back more than anything. Love is a cruel mistress.

[BabyGirl]

Casey is correct, The Hugging isn't a crime, but I used it as a description.

However in Washington State,
The physical Act is a Felony Child Rape or a Felony Statuatory Rape.
There are also various degree's of and some "Attempted" Charges.
And the Talking or Communicating about sex is a Class "C" Felony.

Each State may differer in their Sex Crime Laws, as they do with many other Laws.

[WildChild]

Bekka is in the UK and will have to look at the legal restrictions for where she lives. They may not be a puritanical as the US about all this. However, the fact that the young man's family feels he is too young to have a girlfriend answers the question. They might show some indulgence if he were to fall for another 15 yr old but are unlikely to if it is a young woman who is 3 yrs older.

Bekka, I've no doubt that your feelings for each other are very real but you need to keep this just a friendship for now.

[oncebitten]

I'm agreeing with everyone else. At your current ages a relationship would be inappropriate, because yea, movie dates and bowling are fine, but what about being intitmate, could you really think of yourself getting sexual with a boy that young (read: BOY)? Throughout my life that's how i've looked at crushes, sure I think he's sweet and cute, but could I be intimate? and if you think you could, also think of legal impropriaties associated with that. Also, maybe because I'm older now, but boys that young are just not "sexy" yet. Cute, adorable, cuddly - maybe, but not sexy. I'm turning 21 soon and just the thought of a guy even at 18 just seems unsexy to me - and you might too once you get out of highschool. It seems that for now, just be friends with him, and if that's too hard for either of you, stay youth-group buddies. Trust me, you will have other men (read: MEN) in your life soon enough - and in saying that, don't jump to the other end of the spectrum and date and 25 year old; either way, someone is just too young.

Good luck, and though teenagers don't often do this, think of your future.

[Casey715]

Casey is correct, The Hugging isn't a crime, but I used it as a description.

However in Washington State,
The physical Act is a Felony Child Rape or a Felony Statuatory Rape.
There are also various degree's of and some "Attempted" Charges.
And the Talking or Communicating about sex is a Class "C" Felony.

Each State may differer in their Sex Crime Laws, as they do with many other Laws.

Wow, and I thought Tx. was strict. My daughter is 12, I think we will be moving to Washington soon. lol

[BabyGirl]

Texas isn't very strict Casey ???
You sure you want to move here , lol..
Our Class "C'" Felony is the 14-16 year old kids.So bring up your Youngin, she's protected under our Class " B" And "A" ones for sure.


Heres some of our laws.

RCW 9A.44.079
Rape of a child in the third degree.

(1) A person is guilty of rape of a child in the third degree when the person has sexual intercourse with another who is at least fourteen years old but less than sixteen years old and not married to the perpetrator and the perpetrator is at least forty-eight months older than the victim.

(2) Rape of a child in the third degree is a class C felony.

And I must Correct the Communication with a minor one. It is a Gross Misdemeanor, but is in our legistrative bills to become a Felony.


RCW 9.68A.090
Communication with minor for immoral purposes — Penalties.

(1) Except as provided in subsection (2) of this section, a person who communicates with a minor for immoral purposes, or a person who communicates with someone the person believes to be a minor for immoral purposes, is guilty of a gross misdemeanor.

(2) A person who communicates with a minor for immoral purposes is guilty of a class C felony punishable according to chapter 9A.20 RCW if the person has previously been convicted under this section or of a felony sexual offense under chapter 9.68A, 9A.44, or 9A.64 RCW or of any other felony sexual offense in this or any other state or if the person communicates with a minor or with someone the person believes to be a minor for immoral purposes through the sending of an electronic communication.

On this they have made Internet solicitation and seduction ( of the Children in the above age range) a Felony regardless of your past sexual criminal history.

And yes the laws here protecting our children are very strict and in some cases very unfair to alot of people.

Case and point.

17 1/2 year old boy dates an almost 16 year old girl.

In love ,good kids, planning on Marrying after she graduates HS.

He graduates in June ( was 18), gets a summer job, has a car. Planning to go to College in the fall.
She ends up pregnant ... Nothing new here, most will say..

But, the Parents of the Girl never approved her Single Dating or even having a Boyfriend until she was 17.... she could Group Date ( Dances, Movies and Proms) from 16 to 17 if her grades were kept up.

Her " Secret Love" was just part of the " Group". She admitted the relationship, chose to not have an abortion. The Parents pressed charges for rape of a child, class "C" felony and Bryan will be out of prison in 2013 with good behavior.

My Nephew has a son that will be 6 years old when he gets out. Is this fair ? It depends on the States and Countries laws,..

Does he deserve Prison for being of legal age to " Have sex " NO !!!

Does he deserve Prison for being of legal age to have sex with a" legal aged woman" ? NO !!!
If she were 16 and he was 40 , would it make a difference ??? PROBABLY

If She were 30 and he was 15, Would it make a Difference ? Just research the infamous ~ Mary Kay Letourneau~ Teacher in love with 12 year old Case here in Washington...

As Once Bitten says .. " Most Young people don't think of the Future'.