[Calicorado83]

A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it.

Have you ever heard that before? I thought it was a really good little piece of thought to live by, but now I'm in a situation where i want to forget about the broken mirror altogether! I still want to be with my ex-boyfriend.

He and I had a terrible split, but we have been apart for 1 year, 7 months now. We have forgiven each other for the mess we created and have been friends now for most of the time since we have split up. I usually see him at least once a month. We still have sex but really don't hang out too much besides that because we just go on about our lives.

Well, a couple of days ago, I stayed the night at his place. After we had sex, I was rubbing his back and scratching his head, and he told me he loved me. It was the first time I had ever heard him say it out loud. I didn't want to make the situation awkward, so I just gave him a deep kiss on the back of his neck and kept my hands on him, but the feelings were definitely mutual. "Definitely" isn't even the right word to describe it. The feelings were completely, absolutely, beyond ANY doubt, mutual.

Now what? Do I just tell him? Is it okay to get back with an ex? Do you think the time we have had apart since our official split has been plenty of time to clear the air between us? Just because it didn't work the first time does that mean any relationship we get into from this point on is cursed to be the same? I have seen this all too much before, especially with my parents...breaking up constantly only to get back together and break up again....it's such a stupid pattern. Am I falling into that ridiculous category?

Have you ever got back with an ex? Did it work out, or did history repeat itself? What would be your advice, cautions to take?

[Ashlee T.]

I don't know your previous relationship with him, so it's really hard to say. It's not that getting back with an ex CAN'T work.......but I think that more often than not it doesn't work. You get back together, the newness yet familiarity of it all feels really good, you think things have changed, only to soon realize why you broke up to begin with. Then you've got another messy break up to deal with.

You seem to preoccupy your life with men. You revolve around whatever man is giving you attention. This one happened to say words that made your heart skip a beat....the ultimate....the words you've longed to hear. But words are just that........words. They mean nothing if there are no actions to back them up. Yes, I've gone back with an ex. Same story. We had a horrible breakup, never fully let each other go and still slept together frequently, he'd tell me how much he loved me. But he didn't. He loved the fact that I was a constant in his life, the fact that I was familiar and comfortable, the fact that no matter what he did I was always there. He didn't love ME. And he proved that to me over and over and over.

You said in your other post that this is getting exhausting. It should be. Where is the other meaning in your life? Who are YOU? What do you love to do? What are you dreams, your goals, your thoughts? If you don't take the time to work on yourself, get to know yourself and learn to love yourself........no relationship is going to fulfill what you're seeking.

I'll stick with the old saying that an ex is an ex for a reason.

[sourpuss]

You said in your other post that this is getting exhausting. It should be. Where is the other meaning in your life? Who are YOU? What do you love to do? What are you dreams, your goals, your thoughts? If you don't take the time to work on yourself, get to know yourself and learn to love yourself........no relationship is going to fulfill what you're seeking.

I'll stick with the old saying that an ex is an ex for a reason.

Agreed. I think now would be a good time to not have a man in your life for quite a while.

[sourpuss]

You said in your other post that this is getting exhausting. It should be. Where is the other meaning in your life? Who are YOU? What do you love to do? What are you dreams, your goals, your thoughts? If you don't take the time to work on yourself, get to know yourself and learn to love yourself........no relationship is going to fulfill what you're seeking.

I'll stick with the old saying that an ex is an ex for a reason.

Agreed. I think now would be a good time to not have a man in your life for quite a while.

[Kallygirlie]

I think getting back with an ex is something most of us do. Will it work, it depends on why you broke up to begin with. I got back with an ex 5 times because I thought I loved him. He even proposed to me only to tell me he wasn't ready to get married a month later. Did I learn my lesson, nope. 5 yrs later we found each other on Myspace, he came to my apartment, we stayed up all night talking and both of us admitted that we still had this extremely stong connection. He left my apartment that night telling me he wants to give us another chance cause he knows now we truely are meant for each other. Yeah a week later he tells me he's getting back with his other ex. LOL!!! Oh i learned this time.

You have to make your own choice on this. If your heart says to do it then thats what you need to do. As much as my past with my ex broke my heart, I'm grateful for it. It made me who I am today.

[whit4488]

you know i use to believe that if he's your ex, he's that way for a reason. and you only get one chance...but lately i've started to believe that change is possible...in time, space, time and life after the break-ups can certainly make one realize what they had,what they want, what they miss and what they love. and at times, i miss my ex too, whom him and i ended on really good terms and have remained friends, but he hasnt changed any, and i just know he's not 100% of what i want from a companion, so though at times i wished to be with him again, the man i have now is incredibly wonderful and perfect to me that my ex just washes away...but never deny your true feelings and always tell that person how you feel, if tomorrow never comes, you'll wish you did. so live everyday as if it was your last, live your life the fullest!