[Calicorado83]

Okay, so I am in a serious dilemma. I have two guys that I care about that I am having trouble deciding between. What do you do when you find yourself liking two guys? This is more than just admiring and liking these men from afar. I'm in a position where I am actually SEEING these guys, which makes things quite difficult. I am in a position where I can really hurt some feelings. I hate to say this, and really want to ignore the fact that hurting feelings is probably inevitable at this point.



Please someone, give me advice on this. Tell me if you have been in this situation and how you dealt with it. I really feel like the bad guy here. I feel like I could possibly lose both of them and end up with nothing if I don't handle this right.

[whit4488]

i dont think your in the position to CHOOSE one or the other...you dont really want to be in a relationship with one and have feelings for the other person, feelings just dont go away just because your seeing someone else...so with feelings still being present for both, i think its best you keep them both as friends and perhaps say your not ready for committment, if they wanted to be with you enough they would stick around and if one doesnt, well then he would walk away and you would see that the one still remaining and hoping for a chance with you, his feelings were stronger and therefore you could possibly have a deeper connection with him

[WildChild]

As long as you haven't committed to an exclusive relationship with either or both, there really shouldn't be a problem. Dating or "seeing" someone is part of the process of getting to know them well enough to decide if you want an exclusive relationship - if that is your goal, otherwise it's just dating and having fun together. There is nothing wrong with that, even if you are having sex, as longas you practice safe sex and no one thinks you are exclusive.

Really this idea that if you go out on a date or two or three, you are somehow committed to someone is not a very healthy attitude and it's far too common.

[caterpillar79]

I agree what ALL that WC said above. Question is - have any one of them, in any manner hinted that they feel like or acted like they are into an exclusive relationship with you? Have you had any "talks" about exclusivity and certain "arrangements" or at least "the status"/"page" of each one with regards to yours?

Bear in mind that feelings are fleeting, it could depend on your general "mood' and current emotional state, then for some reason, changes after a certain amount of time. How long have you been seeing each one?