[caterpillar79]

Caterpillar - I don't believe I said anything disrespectful at all. Be careful whom you sweep up with your chastising comments.

I was trying to sympathise with the blogger who started this Thread. I stick by what I said: maturity comes with many, many years of experience - that is one of the FEW benefits of aging. We see things so very very differently as we age and one thing becomes clear; life is far more complex than simply black and white. I hope the original blogger was able to read my contribution and take it on board.

I am not zeroing in on you, Seniora. Did you receive an infraction warning for insulting members? I bet you did not, because you do not deserve such. The party in question was given a final warning, and I doubt that it's you.

In general, I was just simply reminding US all to maintain the integrity of this forum. We value and appreciate your helpful insights, and if I made you feel otherwise, I apologize.

[Lunar Keiki]

I think having friends of the opposite sex in general is fine and just because you are of the opposite sex does not mean that it needs to end with sex. Just as, do you think you could not be friends with a lesbian because she may only want to be your friend because she is attracted to you? This kind of goes along the lines of people being against gays in the military because one belief is that the gay guys would be checking out the straight guys and that they would be making the moves on them. I know this is a little off the subject of what you are asking, but the point I am trying to make is that everything between people isn't about sex. There is so much more to individuals than the sexuality. People have so much to offer in the way of interpersonal relationships. We are not just a boy or a girl. We don't just like someone as a friend because they are the same sex as us. People have so much to offer and something that guy #1 can offer to a friendship is nothing like what guy #2 can offer or girl #1. He is a unique individual. You are not attracted to every single male that crosses your path. You do not want to go to bed with every single guy you meet. Why would you want to discount 50% of the population as potential friends simple because they have a penis?

My problem with male female friendships are when that is his ex. Then I know for a fact that there was an attraction once, I will never know all of the dynamics that went on in that relationship and I am insecure enough to be scared for my current relationship. If there were kids involved, it becomes complicated, and that is when open and honest communication is a must, but that doesn't sound like your situation.

If a guy wanted to be my friend, or we were friends, and he is getting married, I would just make sure that his fiance is okay with things. If she has met you and she knows your intentions are platonic, I really don't see a problem. But if you have the smallest amount of attraction to him, or you are not okay with it, then you need to make your choices based on your values. I always say that I would never do anything that I wouldn't want someone to do to me. So if you could not handle your husband or boyfriend having friends of the opposite sex, then you need to not have any. I just think that is sad though, because there are so many wonderful men out there that you are cutting yourself off of.

[respectstepmoms]

Im just going to jump in here. I do think that its ok to have male and female friends after marriage. But it should be just that FRIENDS, which to me means if my husband wants to go when I hang out or my friend call i will talk in front of my husband as well as hang out with my husband with my male friends. Although some relationships cant work like that for insecurity reasons. My husband has female coworkers he is friends with and we all go hang out when I put something together but he would be by far ok with me hanging out with my male friends. I dont hang out or conversate outside the marriage because I know it bothers him so I give him that respect even though I see it as a double standard. Im not saying its right. Now if your not invited to participate in the outings with his female friends or he wont talk to them in front of you and your aloud to do the same without confontation then YES I think that there may be some shadiness going on and I wouldnt allow it. I hope this helps for I dont think none of us would be on here if we had all the answers.