[ManINeedACoffee]

On the other hand he says all the time "you are so lucky you are with me, I am so kind. You have such a good life here etc"

He actually says that?

I understand that you love this guy...it's tough to move on after 2 1/2 years - you don't want to feel like you've wasted your time. But in my opinion, any man who says that to you is pretty much guaranteeing you that you're NOT lucky to be with him. Men who say that want you to feel obligated to be with them, because "you'll never find anybody better." This is NOT a relationship based on equality, it's NOT a relationship based on mutual respect. Don't settle for a man who acts like you're "beneath" him and privileged that he has bestowed his attentions on you - that is not loving behavior. That's SELF-LOVING behavior.

[WildChild]

I agree that as a bf he has no obligation to support you but this sounds ridiculous. Move out, let him sell his old stuff on Craigslist or something. Seriously, is this the kind of attitude you want in your life? You are better off emotionally living at a less desirable address with more caring people or on your own.

[WildChild]

What are his good points?

[Lunar Keiki]

What are his good points?

That is what I was wondering! I bet he is good looking....and that is it. I bet he appears to be such a good guy to everyone else, and that he is such a caring boyfriend, and treats you so well, when in reality, behind closed doors, he is making you feel like a second class citizen.

[JustHormonious]

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it's a duck! He's cheap!

[Daniela73]

That is what I was wondering! I bet he is good looking....and that is it. I bet he appears to be such a good guy to everyone else, and that he is such a caring boyfriend, and treats you so well, when in reality, behind closed doors, he is making you feel like a second class citizen.

Thanks for asking:-) it´s helpfull for me to make a list:
Positive things:

• Good looking
• We can talk about anything (except money of course).
• He loves to cuddle. He kisses me and hugs me all the time.
• He is honest and straight forward, while this can also be a negative thing cause he can be harsh and unthouthful when saying things to me.
• He is very funny and makes me laugh
• He does small details like leaving me "love you - notes"
  He does his share of the housework
  

Negatives:
Besides what is mentioned he:[LIST]

• Very critical and judgmental, to himself and others (me included)
• Perfectionist
• Harsh when saying difficult things.
• He is very skeptical to people. Mistrusts others, including me.
• He doesn´t give himself 100% to the relationship, and he admits that. ( he says he was hurt before and is afraid to get too involved)
• Doesn´t want to get married. Afraid to marry/ have kids with the wrong lady.Doesn´t know if he wants to have children

[sourpuss]

I don't know if it's his behavior that is making you focus on money or if your focus on money is causing the behavior. But you've dropped little things about 'expensive gifts', etc and compared him to other men you know and what they buy their gfs...
Either way, it sounds like a bad match.

[caterpillar79]

Thanks for asking:-) it´s helpful for me to make a list:
Positive things:

• Good looking
• We can talk about anything (except money of course).
• He loves to cuddle. He kisses me and hugs me all the time.
• He is honest and straight forward, while this can also be a negative thing cause he can be harsh and unthouthful when saying things to me.
• He is very funny and makes me laugh
• He does small details like leaving me "love you - notes"
  He does his share of the housework

Negatives:
Besides what is mentioned he:[LIST]

• Very critical and judgmental, to himself and others (me included)
• Perfectionist
• Harsh when saying difficult things.
• He is very skeptical to people. Mistrusts others, including me.
• He doesn´t give himself 100% to the relationship, and he admits that. ( he says he was hurt before and is afraid to get too involved)
• Doesn´t want to get married. Afraid to marry/ have kids with the wrong lady.Doesn´t know if he wants to have children

Looks like he has more negatives than positives. I would walk and not waste my time to a man who couldn't give his 100% into the relationship with me. If you two couldn't get the financial aspect now, how would you handle it when married.

Oops! He doesn't want to get married/afraid to marry or have kids - are you on the same page? If not, what are you waiting for? Walk...

[Colorado]

Daniela, it's time to be honest with yourself; do you really want to waste your time with this guy? Don't you expect and deserve more out of life?
I think you know the answer, and I think you know what you need to do. Don't let what he is leading you to believe is "security" cloud your judgement.

Just my opinion - and it could be a little tactless, but he sounds like a real loser to me. Buck up, find your confidence and then find someone who REALLY cares about you - UNCONDITIONALLY.

[Lunar Keiki]

Daniela, once you made your list, I could see that he was more like my ex than I had first thought. I wasted 3 years in a marriage to him and it was miserable. Yeah, maybe that is different than your bf, but just because I had a piece of paper, he wasn't committed to me 100%. There was always some other priority in his life.

Thing is.....okay, so maybe wanting gifts or wanting him to splurge on you may not be everyone else's priority, but it is important to you. I am the same way. Like I said earlier, I love to buy gifts, but I love to get them too. And I don't want recycled. When my guy buys me things, it lets me know that he cares enough to go to the store and pick out something that he thinks I will like. He took time on me doing something he may not particularly enjoy (shopping) but he knew it would make me happy so he did it. It is part of that give and take in a relationship. There are things you may not particularly enjoy (maybe going to a sporting event, or cooking his favorite meal) but you will do it because it will make him happy. If he knows you like to get gifts, and that you don't want recycled things, why wouldn't he do it for you if he can afford it? It isn't like it is going to put a kink in his budget. So what is the problem? Selfish. Self-centered. Thoughtless. JMHO though.....