[Agony_Aunt]

Okay so this evening, a few of the girls called over. We usually meet once a week in each other's houses and chat and catch up kind of thing.

They had told me this evening we're all planning to go out next friday night. All us girls and the males.
I had met my ex through our circle of friends, and that is who we are all going out with.

They had been talking about how ling it had been since we've been out together, cause during the summer, we always went to the beach together.

I don't know if my ex will be there.. I don't know now if I should go??

If I don't go, it will look like I'm hiding from him, and if I do go, then it might be really awkward.?

But my main question is.. Is it too early to go and try to be back friends like we all were before.?

[jns]

It's unlikely you will ever be friends with your ex like before as you have known each other to a greater degree than when you were just friends. You will spend your time questioning the others motives if you talk even a little. Don't ignore each other, but don't talk to each other as best as you can pull it off. It will still be awkward, but not to the degree it will be if you two get into a war of words.

[Agony_Aunt]

We only broke up over a week ago, that is why I am questioning is it too early?

It wasn't a bad break-up, there was no harsh words said or shouting. It was just a break up. We haven't spoke since.
I don't expect to sit there and talk as easily as we did before as friends. And I don't even know if he's now wondering about the same thing I am now.

I told my friends I wasn't sure about going, and they said I was going to run in to him sometime anyway since we are all friends, and why not now? And that going out with friends and enjoying myself will help me get back to myself and get over him.

So should I go or should I leave it until the dust has settled a little bit more?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's possible, that your friends are actually setting the two of you up to meet again, by asking both of you

There are two ways in my opinion to look at this:-

1. An opportunity to see each other again if he goes, you can bet that he will know your going as well... see what happens or confirm that it's not meant to be

2. You want to move on and so, there is no problems what so ever for you going, it will do you good.

Both ways, it workds, I say go.

[Agony_Aunt]

It's possible, that your friends are actually setting the two of you up to meet again, by asking both of you

CW, I never even thought of that. They were pushy on me going. At first I said No to going because he will be there and it will be too awkward and it's too early to see him again and to try act like nothing happened. And thats when they kept saying I was eventually going to run in to him some time or another. They did say "He'll think your hiding from him, you have to go".

But it has been a while since the whole lot of us had went out together, so it could just to be to catch up, so not going to read too much in to it.
But, I'm gonna go, after all they are my friends too, as well as his! But I'll probably chicken out that evening and have to be dragged out of my house LOL

[Colorado]

It's possible, that your friends are actually setting the two of you up to meet again, by asking both of you

CW, thats exactly what I was thinking, and what first came to mind when I read the original post.

In any case I would say go - but only to show that you are not going to hide from him. Doesn't mean you have to sit by him and have long conversations with him, right?

[Agony_Aunt]

thats exactly what I was thinking, and what first came to mind when I read the original post.

Is that really what you thought? It never crossed my mind when my friends asked. So now I'm wondering if that's really what they are doing?

I am going to go, after all as I said in a previous post, they are my friends too, so I shouldn't avoid a night out with them because I think he will be there.

Yea I don't need the long conversations either, If he's there I'll say Hi and try to stick chatting more to the girls.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You know me I go with gut feeling, I read what you write and someone else did too, so yessum I suspect he will be there so let me say it again, go, if he's there listen, talk, if he chickens out, enjoy yourself, friends do that shirt, you know that

[Guest]

Another person, same opinion/result.

After reading your thread, I got the same impression that my friends CW and Colorado did. Appears to be some sort of set up. If it is, so what?

I don't think your break up from this guy should keep you from going out with your friends even if he is included in the larger circle of friends.

As for whether or not it's too early, go with what your gut is telling you. If it feels okay, then go, if not, then don't.

If it were me, I'd go. If I saw him, I'd be myself and be polite/pleasant and not worry about him so much. Enjoy the time spent with your group of friends.

[Agony_Aunt]

Okay so that is 3 people now who think it's a set up!!

I have one friend who can't lie about things like that and always lets it slip, she's the kind that would tell someone she will be at their surprise party this weekend if you get me! I could ask her but they probably wouldn't have told her about it, thats if it is a set up.

So my minds made up... I'm going It will be good too, to all be out together anyway, alot of them had been really busy working and so on, so I'm looking forward to it now.

I will be sure to post again and let you know how it all goes, it's not till next Friday anyway