[oxy-moron]

Hi
From a slightly different perspective he is probably playing out a relationship that he has from his own childhood. If you recognise this you can possibly question him about his past in a safe environment.
You could forget about your problems for a while and focus on his. This will give you a sense of purpose and provide a suitable distraction. One of the best ways to achieve happiness is to do things selflessly for others - even thinking about selfless actions is beneficial.

Your parents would have been acting out their own relationship histories and their actions reflect more on their own past then how they truly felt about you. You have the chance to break the cycle.
Remember that no other person,activity or substance can make you truly happy. True happiness comes from within.

Try to get as much cuddle time in as you can with him. This will help you both in the long term.

Consider not spending too much time drinking in club environments. Spend some weekends away if you can or going to movies.
Good luck.

[mdraven380]

Thanks for your concer Allie,
I have one sister left and she is ill with the same blood disease our father passed away from. I don't like to tell her to much because she is going through enough already. I have a grown niece, one great niece-5, two great nephews 11 & 9. My niece is always busy with her children. I have a best friend who will be there for me almost any time of the day or night so I usually call her. I have had these kinds of thoughts since I was a teenager which is about 30 yrs ago. I don't do drugs or drink when I feel suicidal. Well I don't do drugs at all. I know those kinds of things would only make me feel worse. As long as I have my BF in my life I feel whole. I know we are supposed to feel whole without a significant other but I can't help the way I feel. He is the first guy who hasn't left me after an argument and stayed gone. He always comes back to me withion a few hours.

I am glad thinks are gong better. Would you consider setting boundaries and letting him know and if he violates them, then you will separate. Sometimes people need to be reminded that they can loose what the have if the don't appreciate it. Many relationships are tuned around if the partner who has not set boundaries deploys them and sticks to it.

We are all treated the way we allow our selves to be. I am not blaming or making you out to be wrong, just trying to encourage you to make a change in the way you think. If your are brave enough to do that I think the rewards will be great. You will see that you do actually have control and you can still get the love you need.

I am concerned that your therapist wanted to talk about things other than your suicidal thoughts. i am more concerned that you have them and that they are treated so casually. Will you promise the people who care about you that you will seek help if you have these feelings again? Insist that your therapist discuss them with you and take action. Maybe antidepressant would help.

Suicidal thoughts are very serious and cannot be take lightly. It concerns me that there is not someone around you that you can lean on when you are desperate. Is there anyone, a friend maybe that you have not tapped that may be just the right person at theses times? Take care of you - you deserve the best.

[mdraven380]

Hi Oxy-Moron,
My BF's mom is a very argumentative person and always starts arguemts with him. So does one of his sisters. He is the baby and has 4 older sisters. .
We cuddle on the love seat probably at least 6 nights a week. So I'm grateful for that.

Hi
From a slightly different perspective he is probably playing out a relationship that he has from his own childhood. If you recognise this you can possibly question him about his past in a safe environment.
You could forget about your problems for a while and focus on his. This will give you a sense of purpose and provide a suitable distraction. One of the best ways to achieve happiness is to do things selflessly for others - even thinking about selfless actions is beneficial.

Your parents would have been acting out their own relationship histories and their actions reflect more on their own past then how they truly felt about you. You have the chance to break the cycle.
Remember that no other person,activity or substance can make you truly happy. True happiness comes from within.

Try to get as much cuddle time in as you can with him. This will help you both in the long term.

Consider not spending too much time drinking in club environments. Spend some weekends away if you can or going to movies.
Good luck.