[trixie]

Let me start off by saying I'm married. It'll be 7 years this year. My husband is a wonderful man. When I was in middle school and high school I had 1 boyfriend. I loved him more than life itself. we would go to each others houses for games and movies, and on Fridays I'd watch him play high school football. He was my first love, my first kiss and my first lover. We talked about getting married and having children. We even picked names for our future babies! We were together for a long time and then one day he told me it was over. I didn't get a reason or anything. I was devestated, I cried for hours. A waited for him to come back for years. I knew he had married and had kids but I still wanted him back. That never happened and I got over him, so I thought. There isn't s a day that goes by that I don't think about him and wonder what it would of been like to still have him in my life. When I was pregnant with my kids I'd have dreams that I was carrying his baby. ( I had several pregnancy scares in high school). I know he has changed for the worse. He can't hold a steady job and he's a womanizer. I know it would never work but why can't I let go? Any ideas or advice would help!!

[kit-kat]

It's hard just don't act on it let me tell you why. I've been in a relationship 11 yrs.now and out of the blue the guy i loved but we never dated contacts me on classmates.com anyway's i couldn't believe it 26 yrs later and i have thought about him and dreamed about him all the time. Anyway's he's divorced we hook up been seeing him for 5 months even spending time with his son who i got attached 2.Tells me all this bull**** how i'm his dream gurl he's alway's loved me 2 etc,etc so i tell my family my daughter i want to leave my current relationship my family is upset with me my daughter cause they said i'm making the biggest mistake i don't know anything about him anymore.well 2 day's ago i found out he's seeing some other gurl 2 .He won't answer my calls or e-mails i am so devasted been crying for 2 day's and trying to hide it from my family i feel like the biggest idiot they were right i got played. So stay with your husband and forget him.

[tinkerbell930]

Good advice Kit-kat. Sorry that happened to you. I really feel that a lot of the memories we have from "back when" are not as great as we think they were. We were just more carefree and innocent and that makes it so much easier to "think" it would make us happy now. You can't put spoiled milk back in the fridge and hope it turns good.

[trixie]

thanks

Ok so in the back of my mind I knew that I should leave things alone and leave whats in the past in the past. high school days were great but it's time for me to move on. all this happened like 12 years ago, it's time to let go. thanks for the advice ladies!!

[kaylar]

Most people tend to remember the 'good times' and forget
the bad. (a minority only remembers the bad).

When you look back it's all in pastels, and you recall
being young. How it felt when life was something ahead
of you, not behind or where you are.

Many times you look back and unless you have some of
that 'minority' in you, the memory is even better than
the reality.

Your first love was that perfect fantasy, when everything
was new and you weren't looking behind a word or an action
for the ulterior motive.

Innocence is what you remember, and you cling to it
because it was beautiful to be like that.

Now this guy, he never existed.
He was playing a role and enjoyed it, and you, Trixie,
enjoyed it, until he got tired of the role, and broke up
with you...
so he could play the role with someone else.

You've moved on and grown up, he hasn't.
High School is prob. the High point of his life.

All you have to do, Trixie, is remember how you felt
when he broke up with you. I mean, wallow in it.
Wallow in that pain, feel it with every fiber of your
body.

Every time you think of something nice, think of
the pain, make it come like a spirit into your space.

Soon, you'll remember other ugly moments that
happened during the time of your relationship.

And shortly you will be free of your ghosts.

[mbrowning]

I Can Tell You That No Matter How Hard U Try You Will Never Get Over Him. I Know Because I Am Going Through It Myself. I Was With The Love Of My Life From Jr High To High School And Like U Everything Was Great At Least I Thought It Was Until He Dumped Me . And That Has Been About 9 Years Ago And It Still Gets To Me I Am Now Married Have Been For 7 1/2 Years And Have I Son And For About 4 Years I Thought About Him But No Much I Really Thought I Had Gotten Over Him Until I Ran Into To Him Face To Face And It Hit Me Like A Ton Of Bricks And I Haven't Been Able To Stop Thinking Of Him Since So If U Find A Cure Please Let Me Know Also Thanks

[tinkerbell930]

mbrowning...time is your only cure. I think a lot of us have the same story about the high school love. I had a baby with mine and he rejected us, I went on with life but thought about the past a lot. Our daughter graduated high school over 3 years ago (we live in different states) and he and his wife came up for her graduation (she did see him occasionally through her life from age 12 on) and the first few times I saw him (way back when she first started seeing her dad), it hit me hard too...that has been almost 9 years ago and I only have "fond" memories of way back then. It was a sweet young love thing, he broke my heart but I kept hanging on to the deep love I felt as a young girl. Time has helped, I have had a ton of things happen in my life-2 marriages failed and on my 3rd one with the greatest man (well, he has his moments) but looking back only makes me smile and be thankful for the man I married to. Memories have a way of playing tricks on our minds. Just pour yourself into your marriage and do sweet things for your husband, he will hopefully return some sweetness and life will feel fresh and new with him and soon the other guy will be forgotten. Just know that going back in time and trying to recapture what you think you lost is never a good option. My husband now did that before I met him (and the girl was a loser back when he dated her in high school but he had cared deeply for her) he went through a horrible marriage, got really drunk right after his divorce and met up with that high school girl and she had gotten worse than way back then, the worst thing is, she got pregnant and he has DEEP regrets of ever going back. She plays a ton of games and he has to pay a ton of money because she is a welfare HO. She had even told him right after he "got together" with her that she was still married but on her way to a divorce (she had told him she WAS divorced), then she told him she liked to be involved in orgies and he MIGHT be the father of the kid OR 3 or 4 others might be...this was all after the drunken night. Anyway, sorry to give you that detailed of a history, but the past is better LEFT in the PAST!

[trixie]

hmmmm

After readng the recent replies I got kinda upset. I really want to forget him but I just saw him today. I still have friends that talk to him on a regular basis. It's hard for me to not be curious about what he is up to and how he is doing. I recently found out that he still asks about me. It made me feel good. I loved this guy more than anything and we did have several pregnancy scares. I know that if I had a baby with him he would have been in my life forever. Somedays I think I'm so lucky because I have it pretty good right now. My husband and kids love me. I haven't worked in 7 years because my husband thinks it's his job to take care of everything. BUT when me and my husband are having bad days I can't help but think of him. I even go dig up my old yearbook and look for his pics. I know in my last post I said I'm going to let it go but I know it's going to take ALOT of work..

[kit-kat]

update well i told you i found out he had a girl friend well he has had her for over a year found out how long by talking to her sister anyway's now he's threating to tell my boyfriend about us because he he said i was trying to ruin his life well if he was honest with me form the beginning because he knew i had a boyfriend then none of this **** woulda happened had to block his number thankgod i never brought him to my house he kinda know's where i live hope he doesn't show up anyway's forget about him leave the past in the past wish i did he turned out to be a nightmare nothing like he was 26 years ago don't know what the hell i was thinking.

[louieann34]

Hi Kit-kat,


Thats the way it is...Just forget about him, he is now your past...I know that it is hard to forget, but time can heal all wound but there is still a scare of memory left...Face the present and live with it...I know every things will be alright, you are a brave woman Kit-kat, and I know you can get through with this.

God Bless!!!