Hello,
This probably sounds silly and petty, but I really need advice on how to deal with a situation concerning one of my close friends.
I have been friends with Amanda (code name!) since I was 15. We had a beautiful, nurturing, and understanding relationship until this summer. Amanda and I had been sharing an apartment since January, and had no real problems to be concerned about. Then, she went away for two months over the summer to do an internship. She had a wonderful time and was in the city of her dreams, then came back to our apartment in August.
From the get go, Amanda was treating me very differently. I had brought my cat from my home, and he was having a lot of problems. The second day my friend returned, she explained that she didn't think she could deal with it much longer. Then she went on about how she was angry at the way I had been keeping the house. I am quite tidy and clean, and my friends can vouch that our apartment was spic and span while Amanda was gone. But she complained that my living style wasn't "up to her standards," and she was angry at "having to clean up after me" when I left ONE dirty pot in the sink to soak. I would come home from work, and she would be bleaching the entire house, and lighting eighteen million candles near my cat's litter box. It made me really uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. I agreed to take my cat back to my house, and she readily agreed.
We stopped fighting, but I still felt weird for quite awhile. She took the liberty of reorganizing everything in the apartment from the way I had had it, and obsessively cleaning everything.
Throughout the rest of the year, we were not as close as usual. I was very busy working on a huge school project and getting ready to graduate, and she was just usually hanging out at home when she didn't have work (she already graduated in May). Every time I talked to her, she would start crying, so I didn't know what to do. Near the end of the semester, she began to feel better, but we still didn't have much time to catch up.
Finally, in October, she forgot to tell me that we had gotten the bills, then paid them all herself. A couple of weeks later, she told me that I owe her $100 for the bills. She KNOWS that my family and I struggle with money, and I was upset at this. I asked her to please let me know when bills come in, so that I can pay the money bit by bit and alleviate the stress. Even though she and her family have tons of money (her parents paid full tuition for her to go to college, bought her a Hybrid car, and continue to send her money for other things), I thought she would understand.
We moved out of the apartment in December. I had been so busy the last two months that I didn't realize that Amanda had neglected to tell me about bills. I thought that, out of the goodness of her heart, she paid them herself to alleviate my financial stress. Then, around the New Year, when I hadn't seen in her two weeks, she sent me email telling me I owe her $150 for bills. I got so angry! I told her that my dad had just lost his job, I was unemployed, and that I had asked her to let me know about bills before hand. She still wanted the money, so I sent it to her. Now we are not talking. I am not sure I want to talk to her anyway... I am seriously angry at the way she has been treating me, and I don't want to get stepped all over. What should I do????
This probably sounds silly and petty, but I really need advice on how to deal with a situation concerning one of my close friends.
I have been friends with Amanda (code name!) since I was 15. We had a beautiful, nurturing, and understanding relationship until this summer. Amanda and I had been sharing an apartment since January, and had no real problems to be concerned about. Then, she went away for two months over the summer to do an internship. She had a wonderful time and was in the city of her dreams, then came back to our apartment in August.
From the get go, Amanda was treating me very differently. I had brought my cat from my home, and he was having a lot of problems. The second day my friend returned, she explained that she didn't think she could deal with it much longer. Then she went on about how she was angry at the way I had been keeping the house. I am quite tidy and clean, and my friends can vouch that our apartment was spic and span while Amanda was gone. But she complained that my living style wasn't "up to her standards," and she was angry at "having to clean up after me" when I left ONE dirty pot in the sink to soak. I would come home from work, and she would be bleaching the entire house, and lighting eighteen million candles near my cat's litter box. It made me really uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. I agreed to take my cat back to my house, and she readily agreed.
We stopped fighting, but I still felt weird for quite awhile. She took the liberty of reorganizing everything in the apartment from the way I had had it, and obsessively cleaning everything.
Throughout the rest of the year, we were not as close as usual. I was very busy working on a huge school project and getting ready to graduate, and she was just usually hanging out at home when she didn't have work (she already graduated in May). Every time I talked to her, she would start crying, so I didn't know what to do. Near the end of the semester, she began to feel better, but we still didn't have much time to catch up.
Finally, in October, she forgot to tell me that we had gotten the bills, then paid them all herself. A couple of weeks later, she told me that I owe her $100 for the bills. She KNOWS that my family and I struggle with money, and I was upset at this. I asked her to please let me know when bills come in, so that I can pay the money bit by bit and alleviate the stress. Even though she and her family have tons of money (her parents paid full tuition for her to go to college, bought her a Hybrid car, and continue to send her money for other things), I thought she would understand.
We moved out of the apartment in December. I had been so busy the last two months that I didn't realize that Amanda had neglected to tell me about bills. I thought that, out of the goodness of her heart, she paid them herself to alleviate my financial stress. Then, around the New Year, when I hadn't seen in her two weeks, she sent me email telling me I owe her $150 for bills. I got so angry! I told her that my dad had just lost his job, I was unemployed, and that I had asked her to let me know about bills before hand. She still wanted the money, so I sent it to her. Now we are not talking. I am not sure I want to talk to her anyway... I am seriously angry at the way she has been treating me, and I don't want to get stepped all over. What should I do????
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