[KMonte85]

KMonte.... I agree people shouldn't stay in toxic relationships... BUT, unless you have been in one and despite knowing you need to get out, and wanting to get out often times there are no resources to do so and it takes time to make arrangements to get out of the relationship. It's very easy for people to say if the relationship is unhealthy then leave, but when you have no where to go, no money etc... that puts a different spin on things and sometimes you have to tolerate the toxic relationship the best way you can while you plan, save, and make arrangements to leave. The book sounds interesting and sometimes relationships may not be "toxic" but the person you are in the relationship may be wired differently due to upbringing, environment, past relationship and maybe this book might have helpful hints on how to deal with those situations...

We all come from different backgrounds, I suppose having been in a toxic relationship will make one more sympathetic to those who are in similar situations. My mind is wired so that I can not, will not, could never stay. Not for longer than it would take me to find the nearest women's shelter if I was that dependant on the toxic person that I was unable to support myself. There are ways to get out quickly, if one is willing to seek the resources. I suppose that is why I have such a distaste this book and others like it.. I honestly do not see a benefit from it, and I feel it may lead to further negativity in one's life. Perhaps it is because I can't relate. Perhaps it is because I am far to driven to settle for even a millisecond into a relationship I know is toxic. Whatever the case, I worry that books like this one will keep men and women in toxic (and perhaps even dangerous) situations much longer than is necessary.

I still believe that if someone in such a terrible position is going to try to better it by reading self-help books, they would gain more from reading and learning about their own behavior and choices, learning about why they think they find themselves in toxic situations, and what they need to do to change that mindset and learn to love themselves enough to leave the toxicity behind and begin a true life journey of love and support with one's partner.

[Brokenwings]

I agree people shouldn't stay in toxic relationships, but until you have been in one then i don't think you will ever know how hard it is to escape. Many women in toxic relationships lose their self-esteem and rely so much on their other half for happiness. Toxic relationships are not bad all the time, infact they are so good the rest of the times it makes that person want to stay in one and work at it.

But, every situation is different and everyone has their own reasons to why they stay or escape a toxic relationship, therefore nobody is to judge. If someone gets help reading self-help books such as the one stated then good on them.

[KMonte85]

But, every situation is different and everyone has their own reasons to why they stay or escape a toxic relationship, therefore nobody is to judge. If someone gets help reading self-help books such as the one stated then good on them.

My saying I disagree with the message of this book is not judging the potential reader. I hope that isn't the message you are getting, Broken. I want whoever feels they need help, to get as much positivity out of the help they seek as possible. Just because I feel there are better ways to improve one's situation than to manipulate the toxic person(s) causing the problem, doesn't mean I don't wish anyone in these situations the best. I just feel a the effort should be put into self-reflection, and discovering a more fulfilling journey, not focusing on how to manipulate that person which makes life miserable.

But I guess that is the beauty of forums such as this one. We can all agree that help is needed when dealing with toxic relationships, but can disagree on the course of action that can be taken - without anyone being judged (advice givers and seekers alike).