[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's not up to him, as Stressed said, he's manipulative, so he'll play for a month until he knows you are stronger and won't take him back...It's up to you.

[Brokenwings]

why will he play for a month tho? is that how long it takes to break a habit?

[stressed]

Because it takes several weeks for a relationship to end, especially when one of the two is manipulative/won't accept that you want to break up with him/ he will have second thoughts, there will be days when he'll feel lonely or bored or miss you, until you pick up his "bait" and show interest in him, even as a friend. Then he'll push you away again. It's his way.

Don't give in to his messages, if you want to end it with him it's up to you, like CW said.

People don't change. Many will claim they will change and want to change "only for you" but nobody does for somebody else, be it a man or a woman. One has to want to change for himself, not for the others. Otherwise there won't be a change.

[Brokenwings]

Well he is the one that has ended it this time round, and i have accepted it and i have made no contact with him for a good few days, but he did text me though randomly which i thought was bizzare...he probably wanted to see if i would text back or not.

[Guest]

A man's view...

It's over, it's ended and as CW said earlier, it's TOXIC.

Men can be master manipulators, he obviously is pretty good at it, as it worked once before with you. He also appears to enjoy playing head games with you...ie: ignoring you for several days.

Don't read his texts, don't listen to his VMs, don't communicate with him in ANY way...instead raise your chin up and hold your head up high! Take some time to get over it, if you need to do so, then move on and NEVER look back. Learn from this experience. Learn what you don't want and won't accept in your next relationship.

Open, honest communication is the key to any successful relationship. Being ignored for days on end is not.

You deserve better. Everyone does. Now go out there and find him.

NEVER settle for less than you deserve.

[mymirrose]

IMO, he is keeping the lines of communication open so he has a "back up plan". My ex was the same way. I fell for it even after the abuse (long story). Even after I cut all ties, changed phone number & address, he stopped at my office to see if we could get together and 'talk'. Block his number, delete his text before reading them and concentrate on YOU. When you are over the anger and feeling good about yourself, you will be glad you did it and feel bad for whoever he is treating that way now.

[Brokenwings]

he has said so many horrible things to me such as i will make a bad wife, im a selfish B****, im a s*** person. it caused me such bad anxiety few months ago when he first broke up with me i was in tears. i couldnt talk to anyone and kept having nausea. it was horrible feeling.

[Guest]

Who does/says those kinds of things to someone they care about?

[mymirrose]

I really do know what you are feeling. It takes a long time to forget the ugly things that are said to you. For me, the physical abuse was easier to forget, I still battle the terrible things that were said, that replay in my mind. One of the poster here said once, "Every time a negative thought comes to mind, stop, tell yourself that is all it is, a negative thought and you have controll over thinking it" (or something to that effect, lol) and make an effort to not think that way. It really does work, it doesn't stop them from coming, but it does stop them from controlling you and eating at your self esteem.

[Brokenwings]

i just feel at a all time low. i really do. i have found out he has been like this in a previous relationship.

my friends are being very supportive and just worried about me.

i feel like i want to make contact because this is so hard for me.