[Brokenwings]

hes called me all sorts, says that ive been a waste of time im a waste of space. im a (edit) that i've slept with many people (and i havent only him) even that he accused me of him not being my first. that devestated me so much.he said just before a break up i have done all sorts with men etc he's been very raw to me at one point in the relationship when we were going through a breakup, and the amount of times he has said f off after an argument, instead of saying i need time to calm down and think things through, he says f off and doesnt speak to me for days.

[mymirrose]

You know he did this before (mentioned previous relationship) he has been treating you like this, and now, you need to let him go treat someone else like this. You know someone who loves you doesn't treat you like this. He sounds so much like my ex that I checked to see if we were in the same state, lol. But seriously, the hardest part is ignoring him and just getting on with your life and becomming a better you. I am still in that process, it hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it. When you need to talk, come here, CW, HD, WC, and alot of others are wonderful and will help you.

[Brokenwings]

im finding it so hard tho to let go, because bad put aside it was a good relationship. I put my heart & soul into this relationship and in the end he ended it with me.

[WildChild]

He does this because he can.
Think about this! He says you slept with other men. You didn't. But the real question is, if you didn't screw around while you were in a committed relationship with him, who cares what you did before or after? It's completely irrelevant!
Your value is not in your virginity or your chastity. You value is in who you are, your love, caring and sharing is what counts. Not your hymen. Not in how many men you have or haven't had sex with.
This kind of thing is just bogus manipulation.

He's getting you all worked up and guilty feeling over things that A) you haven't done and B) are total BS anyway. He's just playing you and like an addict when you get cut off you want to go back for more.

Sweetie, he doesn't love you.
He doesn't care about you.
He doesn't know how.
Many of us have been there and we know how hard it is and we know how this kind of thing plays out.
DO NOT call, text, email, write, or talk to him. CUT HIM OFF.
It may seem hard for a while but the day will come when you wake up and realise that you are free. You will know how good it feels not to have anyone cutting you down or making you feel bad or unloved and uncared about. Then you will start to heal and find your strength.

Don't feed the BS. Like a tumor, you have to cut off the blood supply. He is a psychic vampire he feeds off your misery. Think of him as being a dementor who wants to suck the happiness out of you. Your best defense is to keep away and grow strong in loving yourself.

[mymirrose]

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but, do you really think it will get better? I understand the hope that it will stop. If the whole relationship was terrible, it would be easy to just break it off. He knows that, that is why you get to see the nice, loving, caring person, so when he does the terrible things, you look back and say "Well, it wasn't so bad, I remember when...." I understand that you gave it your all, but honey, really, take your all back and give it to yourself. Then you will find someone who deserves it, because you surely do.

[mymirrose]

WC, darn you are good!!!! Dementor, exactly! Brokenwings, WC nailed it. You just don't realize (I didn't either) how much happiness and peace he is sucking out of your life. I like the tumor analogy also, everytime time he contacts you, he is just making sure you are there, just in case the person he is with now gets sick of his . If he keeps the contact there, he feels he can always come back. You don't deserve that!

[Brokenwings]

Sleeping with him was such a huge thing to me as i chose him and never done it before in any other relationship, for him to accuse made me feel i had hit rock bottom.

[Brokenwings]

Yes he always says i dont love u when we have argued.

[Brokenwings]

to him if he feels like i didnt lose it to him, then he thinks i am lying and should of told him how many ppl i have done it with n when i tell the truth he said that time he doesnt trust me or love me and im a (edit)

[WildChild]

Every time you think of him, picture a dementor in your mind.
What he thinks or says is not your reality.