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  • collegegirl2010
    Veteran Member
    • Jul 2010
    • 313

    Is something wrong with being a loner?

    Is being a loner a bad thing? I don't have a boyfriend, not because I can't get one, but because I'm not ready for a relationship yet.Only had one boyfriend in the past, and that's when I was 14. Btw, I'm 18...I only have like one real friend, but most of the time I like being by myself. I'm a virgin and plan to wait til marriage, but right now, I'm not thinking about that too much. My dad has commented on me wanting to be alone in a negative way, several times. And my brother commented on it in a negative way before too. I just love having my alone time. Is something wrong with that? Is something wrong with me? Am I wierd?
  • pretzel
    Veteran Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 1557

    Sweetie, I just have one thing to say. My daughter will be 21 on Sunday. She's only had one boyfriend also. She's happy. She knows she has the world looking ahead of her. Her time will come and so will yours.

    Over the few months, I may not have posted to alot of your threads, but I've read them and I can honestly say you have what it takes to make anyone proud to have as a girlfriend, when that time comes both of you will know it.

    Rich

    Comment

    • rcoreyus
      Veteran Member
      • Sep 2007
      • 4369

      If you are happy being alone, then that is absolutely fine.

      Comment

      • ItsASecret
        APRIL 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH
        • Apr 2009
        • 3721

        I am 22 and I am a loner as well. I have a boyfriend right now, I actually did not even plan on trying to find a boyfriend as I am not a seeker type person but it happened anyway. He is my only friend. I had those 'school friends' back in the day but that was merely to have someone to sit with at lunch I did not actually have anything in common with them-they were the drunk type I certainly was not. To this day I still have no friends, without my bf I would have no one to go to the mall with, no one to hang out with at school during breaks, no one to go out for dinner with, no one to even text. Nothing, no one, and that does not bother me. My sister I guess would be the closest person to a friend but we are not really close. However that said I like to be alone. I like to sit at home at watch movies, I like to read the occasional book, I like to go for walks by myself. I do not however like to be a stumbling drunk club girl like everyone else my age. My bf will occasionally poke fun at me for not wanting to be a drunk, saying I "should act my age" or go to parties and be that typical stumbling sexual mess but he also knows I am not that type of girl and never will be. I am just not the outgoing type which is fine.

        Personally I would prefer to not have many friends, I mean I am not a girly girl so if I had friends who wanted to get together for a coffee to talk about the latest episode of Jersey Shore or what color high heels they bought I would decline the offer. I like my solitude and I stay happy and there is nothing wrong with that.
        There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

        Comment

        • collegegirl2010
          Veteran Member
          • Jul 2010
          • 313

          Originally posted by pretzel
          Sweetie, I just have one thing to say. My daughter will be 21 on Sunday. She's only had one boyfriend also. She's happy. She knows she has the world looking ahead of her. Her time will come and so will yours.

          Over the few months, I may not have posted to alot of your threads, but I've read them and I can honestly say you have what it takes to make anyone proud to have as a girlfriend, when that time comes both of you will know it.

          Rich
          Awww,Thanks!

          Comment

          • collegegirl2010
            Veteran Member
            • Jul 2010
            • 313

            Originally posted by ItsASecret
            I am 22 and I am a loner as well. I have a boyfriend right now, I actually did not even plan on trying to find a boyfriend as I am not a seeker type person but it happened anyway. He is my only friend. I had those 'school friends' back in the day but that was merely to have someone to sit with at lunch I did not actually have anything in common with them-they were the drunk type I certainly was not. To this day I still have no friends, without my bf I would have no one to go to the mall with, no one to hang out with at school during breaks, no one to go out for dinner with, no one to even text. Nothing, no one, and that does not bother me. My sister I guess would be the closest person to a friend but we are not really close. However that said I like to be alone. I like to sit at home at watch movies, I like to read the occasional book, I like to go for walks by myself. I do not however like to be a stumbling drunk club girl like everyone else my age. My bf will occasionally poke fun at me for not wanting to be a drunk, saying I "should act my age" or go to parties and be that typical stumbling sexual mess but he also knows I am not that type of girl and never will be. I am just not the outgoing type which is fine.

            Personally I would prefer to not have many friends, I mean I am not a girly girl so if I had friends who wanted to get together for a coffee to talk about the latest episode of Jersey Shore or what color high heels they bought I would decline the offer. I like my solitude and I stay happy and there is nothing wrong with that.
            Thats how I am but I'd have to say I am sort of a girly girl. I love fashion, which is why I want to become a fashion designer. But I'm not the outgoing type either, I'm more of the shy and easily embarrassed type. If you met me in person I'd probably be completely different from what I seem to be. I'm really quiet and very shy, plus it takes little simple things to embarrass me, like making the wrong step and stumbling a little or something of that nature. Sometimes when things like that happen, no one may see but more than likely I'll still be a bit embarrassed. I feel really wierd, lol.

            Comment

            • Magnetism
              Veteran Member
              • Jan 2009
              • 1060

              Nope, not at all! I admit I used to like eating out at restaurants by myself....Loved the "Why is she alone?" looks.

              18 is young and you're still figuring out who you are. Take your time. You don't have to be constantly around people or have a ton of friends.
              "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

              Comment

              • jns
                Assistant Admin
                • Mar 2010
                • 8398

                Originally posted by collegegirl2010
                Is being a loner a bad thing? I don't have a boyfriend, not because I can't get one, but because I'm not ready for a relationship yet.Only had one boyfriend in the past, and that's when I was 14. Btw, I'm 18...I only have like one real friend, but most of the time I like being by myself. I'm a virgin and plan to wait til marriage, but right now, I'm not thinking about that too much. My dad has commented on me wanting to be alone in a negative way, several times. And my brother commented on it in a negative way before too. I just love having my alone time. Is something wrong with that? Is something wrong with me? Am I wierd?
                cg, there is nothing wrong with you. It doesn't sound as if you are a loner so much, rather shy as you stated in another post. There is nothing wrong with being shy. When the right guy comes along, you will no longer be shy with him and will surprise yourself how you are not shy in situations that only a short time before you were shy in. You will be proud as Punch about that bf.
                I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                ...
                Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                Comment

                • collegegirl2010
                  Veteran Member
                  • Jul 2010
                  • 313

                  Originally posted by jns
                  cg, there is nothing wrong with you. It doesn't sound as if you are a loner so much, rather shy as you stated in another post. There is nothing wrong with being shy. When the right guy comes along, you will no longer be shy with him and will surprise yourself how you are not shy in situations that only a short time before you were shy in. You will be proud as Punch about that bf.
                  Thanks jns!

                  Comment

                  • collegegirl2010
                    Veteran Member
                    • Jul 2010
                    • 313

                    Originally posted by PaneraBread
                    Nope, not at all! I admit I used to like eating out at restaurants by myself....Loved the "Why is she alone?" looks.

                    18 is young and you're still figuring out who you are. Take your time. You don't have to be constantly around people or have a ton of friends.
                    Thanks...I sometimes feel like I'm wierd.

                    Comment

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