[zsenmaster94]

is it natural for a girl who is seventeen years old & has NEVER kissed anyone (boy) in their entire life?
Never been on a date before? Always fantasise about meeting 'the one' but never actually had the chance to?

I have a very low self esteem and i think that sometimes maybe being a virgin my whole life will save me the trouble of worrying about the way i look and how the guy would see me. I have it because i have blackheads and hairy everywhere not cool

Is it normal to feel this way?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You answered your own question low self esteme...embrase who you are, a real man will love the inner self the person you are not the outside and blackheads, hairy everywhere? You are 17 learn how to overcome what ever you are not comfortable for you not for a man, and deal with that but ultimately love you and others will too.....

CW

[spurzzz]

Hi Zen,

You are still very young, at 17 you are still in your "teen" years so enjoy it and try not to think too much about what is "normal" and what is not. What one person thinks of as ok another does not hence there is no point trying to keep up appearances and putting unecessary pressure on yourself.

The person who you want to end up with "the-one" is someone who will love you as CW said for you, inside and out! It then boils down to the fact that as an individual you are comfortable with yourself and secure enough to know if someone does not like you for who you are then they can take a long walk of a short bridge!

Try to raise your self-esteem and positive aura about yourself and live life while you can, for this will inevitably put you on the right track to finding your one....Best of luck!

[SaharaJim]

The French had a saying that celebrated a women with "a little hair". What they recognised and celebrated was that women with facial hair had a high testosterone count and were very passionate sexually. A man who had such a woman in his life was considered extremely lucky. Seventeen? What's the hurry? I knew a girl in college that was 22 and had no experience with kissing- She was a fast and delightful learner! Relax! the man who finds you will have a rare treasure.

[Mes T]

I was 18 when I started dating!! At the time it seemed like I was one of the only ones to start so "late", as so many people in my high school had boyfriends and girlfriends...

Don't worry about it, it'll all happen for you, ttttrust me. I had quite low self esteem (as so many young girls do), thought I was chunky, had bushy eyebrows, whatever. Then I moved to college and the shock of moving away from my friends and family made me, I dunno, dress better, exercise more, be more outgoing with the people around me (I had to, otherwise I'd be completely alone)... And literally within a week of arriving at college I had found a boyfriend.

Honestly don't worry

[zsenmaster94]

what if

- th boy that i am dating likes me, and when he finally realises what i look like with out make up, he runs a mile with out looking back though?
- my blackheads put off boys who i am in a relationshp with?
- hiding things that would shame me out?

what if all of this happens with EVERY relationship i have? cos honestly, i really, really, really like my sister in laws brother but he doesnt seem to notice me :/ am i being stupid? or am i wasting my time thinking all of this is one sided?

[Mes T]

Uhhh You haven't been in a relationship yet and you're already having all these fears? What if?

What if I fall off a cliff tomorrow?

What if I get caught in a tsunami?

What would I eat if I got stuck in the middle of the ocean???

Why bother worrying about these things now... Cross that bridge when you get there.

If you're really self-consious about your blackheads, and you show it, then other people will notice them. But if you have a care-free attitude about them, then NO ONE ELSE WILL NOTICE.

In the meantime, try those strips that you stick on your nose (or wherever you have the blackheads) and pull them off. They've worked well for my dad. Or whatever other helpful products might be out there... see what you can google...

As for liking your sister in law's brother, yeah it's possible he's not interested. Lord knows how many boys I've had crushed on who haven't been interested in return. But so what? I had a ton of fun just "crushing" from afar, I didn't obsess over trying to get into a relationship with them.

If you're really insecure about yourself, guys will sense that, and it'll push them away. My advice is forget about dating and focus on improving your self image first.

[zsenmaster94]

thank you (: that actually made sense (: iusually talk to my mum about stuff but not this kind of serious things (: not even my best friend ; they assume that i've been in a relationship A TONNE of times, and has kissed boys .. so its pretty shameful telling them that they are FAR, far from the truth.

as for my brother in law, well, i've had a crush on him since FOREVER and its not cool ... and it hurts sometimes when isee him with his (then) girlfriend making out ... and now with his current slaps (sex buddy) hanging out.

i sound pathetic don't I? this is like the only place i could REALLY open up and it really does help (:

THANK YOU SO MUCH MES_T (: & for you other guys as well (:

any more other ideas? i just want to feel ... secure in a relationship, not having to worry about my imperfections (: