[jac.trew]

I was pretty unsure whether or not guys are aloud to post for obvious reasons, but after seeing a few posts from males and no problems i assumed it was ok. But i guess i'll soon find out!
Anyway i just wanted a female opinion as subjects like this i tend to only be able to address to women..never really known why.
Okie doke so i rarely like someone enough to ask them out etc, as it takes me a while to really like someone's personality (though this isn't always the case). I usually become friends with them by this point, so i often don't do anything as the person is now just a friend, and i would not want to make things awkward. So lately, i'd say like a year, i haven't met anyone knew that i have really liked, though i find myself with quite an urge to have a partner. And i find myself thinking maybe i could go out with someone that, although i don't have great feelings for at the start, may develop as they sometimes do.
So this is my dilemma, not the biggest i'd admit but one i'd like any opinion on, thanks.

[jac.trew]

Forgot to say i'm 22.

[Crystalblue]

I always liked making friends with someone first, before we would date. It actually felt less awkward to me because we already knew each other & didn't have trouble finding things in common. I'll agree that keeping the friendship going would be awkward if things didn't work out as a couple, but all of my most meaningful relationships started with us being just friends first.

[Mes T]

Hi Jac, welcome to the forum. Male members are more than welcome, we've got a few here at the moment.

I would suggest not dating anyone you were "iffy" about just to see if feelings would develop later on. Seems to me like cheating yourself a little bit?

Do you meet new people often? What's your social life like? At this point I'd say just wait until you meet someone you're truly attracted to and interested in...

[jac.trew]

Hi Jac, welcome to the forum. Male members are more than welcome, we've got a few here at the moment.

I would suggest not dating anyone you were "iffy" about just to see if feelings would develop later on. Seems to me like cheating yourself a little bit?

Do you meet new people often? What's your social life like? At this point I'd say just wait until you meet someone you're truly attracted to and interested in...

Thanks. Well i'm at university right now, so i often meet new people, i generally go to quite a few events but the people i do meet aren't to interesting to me personally. They all seem to generally be the same, which i know isn't a bad thing, it just makes me feel like i'm being to picky not really giving people a chance.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Jac welcome

You have in one sense a unique stance, you like to get to know the person, that means the inner self, that's a huge plus for you.

In the other stance, you are not a risk taker that being just to meet, talk, see if there is common ground, go for another date, get to know the person or maybe that is now where you are at, where as before, as a non risk taker, you sought out "friends" and worked on that.

Don't worry about being picky but get to know absolutely everyone and don't judge just get to know them all, yes them all..

You will never know whom is the "special one " until like a fish it smacks you in the face

CW

[Guest]

Welcome to the forum!

Yes, there are men in here, several of us. We are a respectful group of individuals who offer our unique opinions/thought on all kinds of subjects.

If I woke up in your shoes and was interested in finding a partner, I'd start to take notice of the people around you that are doing activities that you like to do. Or, if your activities are more solo, like gardening, playing music, etc. then join a group or two, like a fitness center, pilates or yoga class, running club, rowing club...whatever interests you.

Like everything else, you get out of it what you put into it.

[spurzzz]

You will never know whom is the "special one " until like a fish it smacks you in the face

That is so trueeeee, it does happen when you least expect it so don't try to rush anything.

My advice would be to get to know someone first as you are but don't delay the initiation if you are starting to like them. Try to always be a little flirty so as not to get into the 'friends forever' stage and keep the candle lit. Be spontaneous and keep the interest going and let it be know through your actions and your words you are interested.

Best of luck dude.

[Guest]

Tough situation for a 22 yr old. I'm a 46 yr old man and still find it hard to talk with my wife sometimes as our languages are so different. As in men and women speak differently-
I'd get to know them as a friend first and let Mother Nature take her course. You might learn that a certain female already has her eyes on you. That always intrigued me- how women do that, they see you and you think they are cute from a distance and the next thing you know, she is sitting very close to you and you never realized she had moved. Next thing you know you are talking with her and things just naturally happen. I had that happen to me with my current wife. I say current because I've been married twice before. It's a very fun game we all play in life. Enjoy it and don't let shyness get in the way.

[jac.trew]

Thanks for the advice i think these all are valid points i'll just have to take it away and work on it!

If I woke up in your shoes and was interested in finding a partner, I'd start to take notice of the people around you that are doing activities that you like to do.

I think this is most valid to my position cause to be honest i take part in a lot of activities where i meet new, and there are chances to regularly interact which i do, depending on how i feel. But there are a lot of people i know already, which i don't really know well, so maybe start there? who knows...

My advice would be to get to know someone first as you are but don't delay the initiation if you are starting to like them. Try to always be a little flirty so as not to get into the 'friends forever' stage and keep the candle lit. Be spontaneous and keep the interest going and let it be know through your actions and your words you are interested.

This is probably something i would have trouble with, but i think this would also help a lot. Thanks