[Texinator]

Maybe the best course of action would just be to put some wheels on the septic tank

[Little]

Some people can't be helped. He probably should have gotten the other employee fired for the inappropriate comment (and certainly not kicking anyone's butt - that's assault and if he ever shapes up and wants another job, it would follow him forever!)
I haven't been following this story, so does your step-daughter have a job? Kids? Her own place?
Why isn't one car enough? It's a struggle, yes, but it seems this is another of his excuses.
Maybe hold back on the bike (if you haven't given it yet) and tell him he can use it when he gets a job. If you have the time, drive him to his interviews until then - that's one way to show "support" while really keeping an eye on his progress ... and if he wants the bike, he'll get in gear!
Another option is to sell that Mustang. Even if it's only worth a thousand or two, it can get him a halfway-decent reliable, but old car to work with.
Hope it goes well, and it doesn't turn into enabling. There was a good Dr. Phil the other day about mooching kids.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I agree with holding back the bike "until" he gets another job.

Your daughter at some point in time is going to get so sick of carting his butt where ever he needs to go, sick of never receiving flowers, or a night out, sick of his whining, sick of no money, sick of him

Don't make it easy for him and harder for her, to let go....

She needs to be in that seat so she eventually can see clearly...giving him the bike now will only keep the ball rolling, and not in your direction, or hers, but his.

CW

[SaharaJim]

LMAO! I like it Tex!

CW and Little...waiting would be a good idea if he could put in applications without a vehicle. But a job search out here in the country requires a vehicle. I agree that it does have it's "enabling aspects". But on the other hand not having a means to get to the places and put in an application is the best excuse for not getting a job (God knows Sluggo doesn't need any help with "excuses"). Daughter and he are living in the apartment his parents "subsidize". She has a car (with steep payments) and a job. She can't keep her job and "babysit" him applying for a job. In it's current state I don't think he could "give" that Mustang away. So...I play out the rope and see if he "hangs himself" with her. He has the "means" to seek a job...I am betting he "won't".

And yes I could sit back and refuse to help them- but I just don't have it in me to DO it.

[SaharaJim]

OH! re-read your posts. I will not "give" him that Bike. I am "loaning it" but I am keeping it titled in my name with him as an insured "rider". That way if Daughter has an epiphany and "sees" him as he truely is...I'll have her out of there and divorced in a week!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sucks being a parent huh

It could be worse, it could be physical abuse, try to relax and sit back knowing at some point, she will see the light so to speak

[Little]

Sorry, didn't mean to imply that it would be given - I know you certainly don't want to give him anything! Haha.

Yes, it would be babysitting to drive him around. But they're married, whether he's worthless or not, and his downfall will be hers too. If his unemployment causes her to fall behind on bills, the damage to her credit will be around longer than the damage to her heart ... so it may be worth her efforts in the end.

[LanaBear]

^^ That's where I was getting with my post as well. She chose the relationship, so his laziness will effect her. By providing for him/her/them, you are enabling.

This story is all too familiar. If you pull back, there is a chance, he may be gone soon. When forced with actually having to do something. Or she may get PO'd enough to boot him. Telling her that you love her, but can no longer support HIM and his laziness, you have to cut off any type of support or assistance that you provide.

Definitely not easy, nor something you would want to do, but sometimes there are little options.

[SaharaJim]

Ladies; in my mind I know you are right. I "should" let Daughter learn the hard way; but that would make her mother cry-and I can not/will not permit that.
Thank you so much both for your input and for your patience while I "vent". Basically the Maxim is not a particularly valuble bike and registering and insuring it is not a great financial burden. It just galls me to "haveto" do it for Sluggo. Pretzel had it exactly right.

[Texinator]

Sorry bud, I still think Sluggo's gonna do something stupid with that motorcycle, and having the daughter babysit him is a good way for her to learn. But you need to do what you feel is best; regardless, I hope it works out for the best.