[Lindsaybrooke]

So im going through a divorce ( it will be final Sept. 23), and when i changed my status to separated on facebook, i had 2 old high school friends (guys) send me messages stating that they would love to hang out with me and catch up. One of them had a huge crush on me in highschool (he told me that about 2 years ago), but i never had feelings for him in that way, and the other has always just been a friend. I dont really know what to do at this point... Im not even thinking about dating ANYTIME soon, but it would be nice to go out just as JUST friends with someone or a group.

I dont really know if either of these guys are thinking of "hanging out" as a date, but i surely dont want to them to think that. I dont want to hurt any feelings, or give out mixed signals. I just need advise and opinions on what to do next. How do I answer them? They have both asked when I can hang out. I told them both that I was very busy, and things should slow down soon. One did not respond yet, and the other said that he hopes I can make time for him since he does not live far away....HELP!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ask why these "friends" didn't say "hi Linds how is life with you and hubby" when you were married and now the moment you say separated they send messages.

The separated woman is vulnverable

Your answer? Yep I am going to get a group together and have a fun night out, so I'll let you guys know when and where, be great to catch up with old friends.

If one badgers you to hang out just with him or earlier, you know the intention and there you say, life is new again so I've got alot going on, but hey it will be great to see you, I'll let you know when I've got the group together ....

If he continues? Ignore him ....you know what he's after.

You are safer with a group at the moment, you do need to get out but you don't need to be used just because someone thinks they may use vunerablility to well score.

[WildChild]

There is nothing wrong if sex is all they are after - if that is all you are after.

You are vulnerable right now and will be for some time. Decide what you want and don't get what some therapist friends of mine refer to as dicnotized (rather like hypnotized only it not done sitting in an office). In other words coming out of a bad relationship or a sexual hiatus don't mistake mediocre sex for great or good sex for love.