[Liberty89]

I am 22 and my ex is 45. We are in a civil partnership and have been together for 3 years. Were together.... At the end of May she came home one evening and ended the relationship. My heart has been shattered. She was always very closed about her feelings- didn't like to talk about things and kept things about her past hidden. I knew this but always believed that when she was ready she would open up to me. I am absolutely heart broken and filed for dissolution last month.

I am hardly coping. Her ex has been on to me telling me about the relationship they had together. And her version of events are very different to what I have been told. There was an element of controlling in the relationship but the bottom line is I love her. I can't move on. I love and miss her so so much. She isn't even willing to talk about trying again, starting from the beginning. I would do anything for her and don't know how to just walk away.

She decided we couldn't be friends, that it wouldn't be good for either of us. Until last week when she agreed we could be. Today we met up for the first time in 6 weeks to walk our dogs together. We talked about the most random of things but it felt so good to be with her. Almost like it did before she ended it.

I would give anything to be back with her, I'd walk the earth and back again.

What do I do? Can a relationship be saved? Should I hold on to my hope or just give up? I feel I have no life without her, my whole world was her. We had so many hopes and dreams and plans for the future. Everything has just been turned upside down

Sorry for rambling......

[jns]

Communication is the key in any relationship. If she will not communicate, the two of you will not be able to work things out. You cannot have a relationship where one person wants it and the other has already bailed out. It will take a long time to get her to tell you what caused her to abruptly call it off. She may warm up to you again, but I wouldn't bet on it. Good luck.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

She was always very closed about her feelings- didn't like to talk about things and kept things about her past hidden. I knew this but always believed that when she was ready she would open up to me

Seems she is doing the same now.. You have no closure...

I don't believe that age has anything to do with a good solid relationship, but you were 19, her 42, in 15 years you will be 37, her 60 maybe all the love words or discussions about future, she one day saw those numbers and realised that she's taken your youth away from you, the chance for children, the "same" mentality, of fun, bars, hotels, discos, things that she wouldn't be interested in...

This may have been your first love and that's why it hurts so much...

You need closure and I don't think it's a good idea to be friends with her, given your emotional state it's best to remember and move on.