[welshlizzie]

afternoon all... im new to this site so hello...but i need advice i recently caught my boyfriend wearing my knickers and i only caught him because i finished work early.... and i walked into the bedroom to find him laying in bed with my knickers on! he got all embarressed and got changed and stormed out.....now its been 2 days and he will only text me... he wont speak on the phone....i do love him but what do i do! grrrrr men!!!

[Ashlee T.]

Sounds like's embarrassed...enjoyed the idea of hiding it from you, and is upset because he was caught.

How do you feel about him enjoying wearing womens undergarments? There are some men that just enjoy this but are totally heterosexual. There are others who are closet homosexuals or closet "trannys" that enjoy this. What are your boundaries as far as what you're willing to accept in the relationship?

[welshlizzie]

well i know hes embaressed but i have text him saying its fine there is nothing to be embaressed about, and i just wish he would have told me so i didnt have to find out this way, i feel like he has been hiding things from me and im thinking what else is he hiding? as for my feelings towards this i am totally happy for him to wear them if they make him feel sexy or if its a comfort thing then thats fine. i would even go shopping with him if it helped him! but i just want to speak to him about it ....i was laying in bed thinking about it and i kinda got turned on by it all so i text him that and he still hasnt replied! any thoughts or advice?

[Ashlee T.]

There's probably more to it than just him putting on a pair of your undies now and then. I'd say there's more to the story. It will be his choice whether he shares that with you or not, but it will be your choice whether or not you stay in a relationship with someone who can't be honest about who they really are.

[welshlizzie]

i know this is what im worried about if he cant be honest about this now it will cause problems in the future..... i need to rethink the relationship! i just wish there was a way around this, the way i look at it...women wears there boyfriends boxer shorts so why cant men wear there girlfriends knickers? x

[Ashlee T.]

There is a difference between sporting around your bf's boxers for comfort, and putting them on when he's not around because you like the idea the manly way it makes you feel or because you like to think of yourself as a man and fantasize about yourself with women. Identity issues are not terribly uncommon, but it's important for partners to be honest with each other.

This isn't even an issue of what is accepted in society and what's not. Your bf was obviously hiding this from you, for whatever reason, and now is choosing to reject your attempts to reach out to him. Is he hiding something else? His behavior since you "caught" him makes me think there is more to this story.

[michellenm]

EMBRACE IT!

It's not a big deal, really isn't THAT weird, different people like different things in the bedroom. He's probably submissive and he gets off on it. Have you ever tried being dominant? It's sooo much fun! I've had a boyfriend like that too! Let him know you're NOT going to judge him (if you really aren't). Know what you should do, is buy him a new pair of panties!! Blindfold him and tie him up and put them on him, spank him some, etc... he may be embarrassed and first, but like I said, make him feel comfortable with it! I'm sure he's not a closet tranny, otherwise he would have been wearing a whole outfit/wig/makeup/etc lol... Guys who enjoy wearing panties aren't weird or gay or "closet trannies" but they will get wicked embarrassed, because it compromises their "manliness" society brands on their foreheads. Embrace it!

[Ashlee T.]

Michelle, I edited your post. You'll find it unwise to call anyone on this forum, including myself, ignorant. That also includes their opinions which may differ from yours. You should perhaps go back and read the response to the OP's post which laid out several different scenarios of WHY her bf might have wanted to wear her underwear as noone stated that her bf must be a closet tranny.

There are some men that just enjoy this but are totally heterosexual. There are others who are closet homosexuals or closet "trannys" that enjoy this. What are your boundaries as far as what you're willing to accept in the relationship?

Guys who enjoy wearing panties aren't weird or gay or "closet trannies"

All of them? I assume you know this for a fact in order to state it with such certainty. Just because your boyfriend enjoys girls underwear and is completely heterosexual, does not mean all men who enjoy girls underwear are heterosexual. There are also alot of men who are heterosexual that like to dress up as women, cross-dressers, transvestites, etc. The OP's concern is not that she caught him in panties, but that she has reached out to him and let him know that it's okay and he is not receptive and is excluding her from his life.

[michellenm]

sorry, i didn't mean to sound like a brat! :X lol i guess i just wanted to defend the guy, and that it doesn't necessarily mean anything bad n he shouldn't be judged for it

[michellenm]

yeah i'm sorry i just read a little more, and i had tried to edit and put in that i didn't read through all of the thread before, but it'd been past 5 minutes.. lol sorry again!